One day I will get around to repudiating @Bigg's assertion that good porn games can only be visual novels, but until then, here's a project that strengthens his case while weakening mine. Who greenlighted a two-handed Starfox clone interspersed with sex scenes? Wtf!

It does look like a pretty fun Star Fox clone, to be fair - I wouldn't be mad about a horny fucky cummy Star Fox clone if the sex stuff didn't look so awkwardly divorced from the space shooting. Oh, also, it feels fucking PERVERSE to have a pornographic Star Fox clone and not have your cast be furries. Like, fuckin, c'mon. I think if the devs wanna get real and run with the big dogs there's a gaping conceptual void where a Star-Fox-like 3D space shooter furry porn version of Cho Aniki could go.

It seems obvious to me that the first boss of such a game should be some giant buxom foxgirl who is just stomping on everything in the city but maybe that's why I work on office software

let's face the facts: I have a side project ON THIS VERY WEBSITE where I try and devise optimal strip variants for designer board games of various obscurity (check out @stripvariants it's good I promise); I have THOUGHTS on this discourse and some day I will go off, and you won't be able to stop me

in the mean while, I'm just gonna tease y'all with this nugget o' wisdom:

DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, EVER MAKE "SEX" A GAMEPLAY VERB. IT JUST DOESN'T WORK

Porno is, at the core of it, aspirational. Inevitably, those aspirations will be different from person to person. Your design needs to accommodate that; using systems to try and model the ebb and flow of a porno scene only ever gets in the way. There just isn't a magic set of numbers out there that will create a porno scene that is enjoyable for everyone. Detailed modeling of in-depth stats is pointless design busywork; obviously, this is not to say that progression systems can't work at all, mind you, it's just that if I have to get a character's nipple sensitivity to 71 and not a point further to get a fuck scene that is to my liking in terms of pacing and such, I'm going to lose my fucking mind. You will never be able to design a system that works, and you shouldn't. Stop doing that RIGHT NOW.

Ten points if you can guess which popular ero game I'm putting on blast.