hayley also

I almost finished making this last night but then my laptop hard crashed and I lost it all. I made sure to hit "save draft" frequently while redoing it.

Round 1: This or That 1

For each real brand given, determine which of the two fake brands is actually from Riverdale.

1. 24 Hour Fitness: 23 Hour Fitness or 25 Hour Fitness
   Answer

   While justifying joining a cult, Betty's mother compares its safety waiver to one she signed for 23 Hour Fitness. Fans have yet to figure out what the gym does with the hour it's closed.
2. BevMo!: DrinkMo! or ChugMo!
   Answer

   After Archie's father is shot in Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe, business declines to the point where Pop almost sells it to ChugMo!. He instead ends up getting bought out by the Lodges, but not before Josie and the Pussycats perform Kelis' "Milkshake" on the roof.
3. 3 Musketeers: 3 Cavaliers or 3 Buccaneers
   Answer

   The snack bar at Veronica's cinema sells 3 Buccaneers alongside Senior Mints, Butter Flingers, Skit-Skat bars, and Milk Buds.
4. Entertainment Tonight: Entertainment Tomorrow or Entertainment Today
   Answer

   After Josie becomes a multi-platinum recording artist, she gets a cover on Vanity Flair and a special on Entertainment Tomorrow.
5. Little Caesars: Little Scipios or Little Ciceros
   Answer

   It's just not a Riverdale sleepover without a greasy pizza from Little Ciceros.

Round 2: This or That 2

For each category given, determine which of the two fake brands is actually from Riverdale.

6. NFL team: New York Goliaths (New York Giants) or Indianapolis Stallions (Indianapolis Colts)
   Answer

   When Archie is struggling to rebuild Riverdale High's football team, Veronica's attempts to motivate the team include a pancake breakfast, an offer of $10,000 to the first player to score, and bringing in a friend from the New York Goliaths to talk to and practice with the team.
7. Retail superstore: Jmart (Kmart) or Mallmart (Walmart)
   Answer

   Nightlife in Riverdale includes a strip club called "Ho Zone", a gay bar called "Innuendo", high school football games, and tailgate parties in the parking lot of the local Mallmart.
8. Restaurant chain: TGI Thursdays (TGI Fridays) or Orangebee's (Applebee's)
   Answer

   When Veronica kicks Cheryl out of Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe, Cheryl decides to eat at TGI Thursdays instead.
9. Magazine feature: Fibes 20 Under 20 (Forbes 30 Under 30) or PLACE Individual of the Year (TIME Person of the Year)
   Answer

   Veronica assures Betty that she's not playing Griffins & Gargoyles because you don't make Fibes 20 Under 20 by prancing around the woods in a deer carcass.
10. Beverage: Fresh-Aid (Kool-Aid) or Alaskan Punch (Hawaiian Punch)
    Answer

    Many people die from drinking Fresh-Aid laced with cyanide as part the Griffins & Gargoyles game. This arguably makes it a take on Flavor Aid rather than Kool-Aid, but most folks identify it with Kool-Aid for various reasons.

Round 3: Yes or No

For each fake brand given, determine whether it is actually from Riverdale.

11. Dab-O-Honey (Bit-O-Honey)
    Answer

    No, but if it did exist, I'd probably still be the only one who likes it.
12. Shabby Road Studios (Abbey Road Studios)
    Answer

    Yes. Cheryl connects Josie with a producer at Shabby Road for some studio time. This kind gesture is shortly followed by Cheryl anonymously giving Josie a drawing of Josie with the words "IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU NO ONE CAN" and a box containing a pig heart.
13. The Matchelorette (The Bachelorette)
    Answer

    Yes. Veronica hosts a small watch party of the season premiere of this gross reality dating show so her friends can meet her dad.
14. Tigersgate Films (Lionsgate Films)
    Answer

    No, though I wouldn't be surprised if they would have eventually done it if the show had gone on long enough.
15. Paramecium Records (Amoeba Music)
    Answer

    Yes. Jughead, along with his and Betty's FBI agent half-brother, check out the local cinema, Paramecium Records, and Blue Velvet Video while trying to find the creator of some creepy videotapes.

Bonus Round: Writers

A number of Riverdale characters have names based on real-world writers, even if the characters aren't based on those writers. For each of the names given, determine if it is actually from Riverdale or if I made it up.

1. Brad Rayberry (Ray Bradbury)
   Answer

   Yes. Rayberry serves as a bit of a mentor for Jughead for slightly more than one episode before being murdered. His bibliography includes The Jupiter Journals, November County, They Came from Galatea, and Analog Heartbeat. He also contributed to the anthologies Enter the Dark, Dire Territory, and Beings from Another World and the magazines Champlain and Northeast Passage.
2. Charles Chickens (Charles Dickens)
   Answer

   Yes. Charles Chickens was in a literary society at Stonewall Prep with Jughead's grandfather. He was killed decades later by the leader of the literary society to keep him from revealing that their cash cow book series started with a story legally purchased from Jughead's grandfather.
3. Jane Dallas (Jane Austen)
   Answer

   Yes. Jane Austen was in a literary society at Stonewall Prep with Jughead's grandfather. She was later killed later by the leader of the literary society to keep her from revealing that their cash cow book series started with a story legally purchased from Jughead's grandfather.
4. Deena Lunham (Lena Dunham)
   Answer

   Yes. Deena Lunham is the admissions coordinator at the University of Iowa. She calls Jughead to tell him he's been conditionally accepted to UI's writing program but they need another writing sample. So, of course, he immediately gets to writing a story about murdering his principal.
5. Bret Weston Wallis (Bret Easton Ellis)
   Answer

   Yes. Bret is Jughead's rival—and later attempted murderer—at Stonewall Prep. He's killed in jail by Betty's fake half-brother, but he's back to harass Reggie after everyone goes back in time to 1955.