Abigail Thorn's observation that the British citizens around her treat American queers better than British queers1 reminds me so much of all-too-common experience of growing up under liberal parents who would never raise a homophobic child but would never raise a queer one either. Which makes sense when she's talking about the concept of nation as an extension of the family! What really clicked for me was the distinction between simple disapproval versus feelings of entitlement and ownership.
It's a topic that's been on my mind after reading Daniel Lavery's three part series1 on the superficially perfectly reasonable ways that family and other loved ones will assume control within your transition, and how that can be difficult for all the ways it does not look like overt transphobia.
