i've been stuck in bed for the past couple days. i'm dysfunctional and unemployable but the government thinks the adhd, autism, osdd and the whole "it's so bad i dont have teeth anymore" situation isn't bad enough for disability support.
help me buy food that's easy to make and eat, since my country and my province would rather have me die than give me the help i need. next year, canada's medical assistance in dying is going to be more accessible to me than disability support. i've done what i can to get help from a system that's supposed to be designed to help, but they said i should just die instead. i reject it.
if you can throw money at my paypal it'd be tremendously appreciated, but rechosts are kind and helpful too.
thank you to everybody who rechosted and donated their money to me. i was able to go out and buy some food today. y'all are fuckin awesome.
i think it's also important to note that i've previously asked for help on twitter many times, and received enough money to get some food, but had to make compromises on what kind of food i bought. ready-to-eat food and snacks like pizza pockets and pop tarts can be expensive because of the cost of convenience, even if I buy off-brand analogs to those products. it sucks. i buy these kinds of junk foods because it is always better to eat something rather than eating nothing. could i buy the ingredients to put together a healthier meal? sure. but that requires putting those ingredients together in a sequence and in particular portions, then cooked at the correct temperature for the correct amount of time with the oven on the correct settings - sucking up a lot of energy in the process. That's energy that I often can't afford to expend. so ultimately, i can't make the healthier meals as some would suggest i do, even if it would be cheaper. buying ingredients for a meal may cost less in terms of money compared to the ready-made version of the same recipe, but homemade meals will cost more in terms of energy spent on making it.
I say this because the amount of help I got from Cohost was overwhelming. I went to the store and bought a lot of ready-made food and snacks. I also purchased Ensure meal replacements to make up for the calories and protein i frequently miss out on as a result of endentulism - the loss of my natural teeth. After that, I still have money left over to buy more food and snacks, and I can periodically buy ingredients to make healthy, homemade food when I have the energy to do so.
since i can't work and the government thinks i'm Not Fucked Up Enough to get disability support, the money I received will eventually run out. but the tremendous amount of help I got from people sharing my chost and sending money to me is, for somebody like me who never has more than two digits in my bank account, fucking life-changing. not only do i have the money to go out and buy ingredients for a homemade meal, but i can fuck it up and just go back to the store to buy the ingredients and try it again.
the thing that just destroys me though, is being denied disability support. receiving $1100 per month would be enough to let me eat healthy food - ready-made and homemade - and save money to buy a car, since the local infrastructure is pure bullshit and built exclusively for cars. i received less than half of that from you generous people here on cohost, but that money was still enough to be absolutely life-changing to me.
please advocate for disabled people. amplify the voices of disabled people. call your government representatives and ask them what they are doing to improve disability support in your area. if you live in Canada, mention the fact that Medical Assistance in Dying expands next year to include mental disorders, which means in all of Canada it will be easier for disabled people to die than to get appropriate disability assistance. As it stands, MAiD is already an easier program to access than appropriate disability support, but it will get significantly worse if nothing is done to improve support for disabled Canadians.
thank you cohost. you people are incredible. i love you. the last thing i ask of you is to say "i love you" to your partner, your friends, and whoever else you feel comfortable saying it to. it's a phrase we should be saying much, much more often.