thank [looking directly into the camera, smirking, eyebrow raised] science it’s Friday [someone whispers in my ear to tell me that it’s Thursday] my secular ways have brought me to nothing but ruin… but perhaps there’s still a chance for a wicked soul like mine to be saved…?
in 24 hours the non-believers will turn-heel and praise the science they laughed at... they will refuse to believe that it is a friday once again

