The old Socrates was doomscrolling in his bed one night, as he was wont to do when sleep did not find him in the short midsummer dark.
He happened upon a video of a man wielding a contraption he called a "powerwasher", which sprayed a vigorous jet of water for cleaning pavement and walls. On a particularly grimy surface it left a crisp bright edge, as if inscribed with a chisel. Standing in front of a butcher's establishment in New York City, the man indeed began to wash the dirty pavement in the shape of an inscrutable message:
BXTI TOKEN 12.00 USDT
🔥 ICO ROUND 1 🔥 📈🚀🌕
11/11/2024 #riseandhodl
Before long an enraged butcher emerged from the store and confronted him, and the two men began to argue vigorously, with the butcher threatening to call the city guards unless the man with the power washer cleaned the rest of the sidewalk. The man with the powerwasher refused, stating that it was not his job to do so.
It was at this point a weary Socrates scrolled down from the YouTube video into the comment section. He found the top rated comment was from a user known as phuck_ob4ma.
SOCRATES of Athens — PHUCK_OB4MA of the YouTube Comment Section
phuck_ob4ma: Cleaning up NYC's disgusting sidewalks shouldn't be a crime. If their Democrat mayor actually cared about the people then this guy would be a hero.
Curiously, Socrates inquired: Can this man's actions really be described as "cleaning," considering that he refuses to use the tool on the rest of the sidewalk?
phuck_ob4ma: Well, of course. Think about it logically. What is the powerwasher really doing?
On a basic physical level, it's removing dirt and grime from the sidewalk, the very definition of cleaning. The extreme thickness of the grime is what allows the message to be seen in good contrast.
Socrates: But he has not removed all of it, no? Has he not troubled the proprietor?
phuck_ob4ma: He still removed some of the dirt, lessening the burden of those who inevitably come back to remove the rest of the grime.
This too is a public service, because, "snowflakes" that they are, they'll call someone to clean up the rest of the grime faster than if he hadn't washed the sidewalk at all.
Socrates: I see your point, and I know that they will. Why do you think they will call for another cleaner now when there is in fact slightly less dirt than before?
phuck_ob4ma: It is because they are sensitive. The removal of dirt draws attention to incompetence of the mayor they have elected.
Socrates: So unwise of them then. If they would only wait, then more men with powerwashers would arrive and most (albeit never all) of the dirt would be removed, and they need never pay a single drachma in compensation.
phuck_ob4ma: Truly, Socrates, you understand what I am saying.
Socrates: Why do you think the powerwasher does such charitable deeds for free?
phuck_ob4ma: Do not play dumb with me. Look how heavy the contraption is. He does not do it out of the grace of his heart, it can only be his job.
Socrates: So it is. I see that the dirt he has graciously removed is in the form of a message; perhaps that is to do with the nature of the job? I apologize, however, because I do not understand the words.
phuck_ob4ma: Allow me to enlighten you. It is an announcement for a new 'cryptocurrency,' a type of money which always increases in value.
Socrates: So you say something was added to the pavement. An announcement of sorts.
phuck_ob4ma: No, I say only something foul was removed. This being the thick cake of dirt resulting from neglect by the Democratic mayor.
Socrates: It strikes me as self-evident that something new, and perhaps, undesirable can be created by the removal of material, itself undesirable though it may be.
Is the stone not chipped away by the sculptor to create a statue? What value is the offcut compared to the statue; is it not as the dirt on the pavement?
phuck_ob4ma: Indeed, it is because the pristine statue is the vision intended by the sculptor. So too is the bare, clean pavement the state envisioned by the mason, and I hope, the butcher.
Ask the butcher if he prefers a clean sidewalk or a dirty one. He would not be in good conscience to answer the latter, though he may lie, if he voted for that corrupt mayor.
Socrates: A wise man you are, phuck_ob4ma.
So the difference, then, is that there is exists an ideal state of the sidewalk to which the powerwashing is a reversion, even if only a partial one.
phuck_ob4ma: Correct you are.
And, this is important: the full reversion to a pristine state remains possible following the powerwasher's actions, and in this case, overdue. You do not need a sculptor to finish the rest of the job.
Socrates: Very true.
So what other things are like this, a pristine state covered by unwanted material over time? We shall say a statue can also become covered in dirt, but I think that is too familiar.
Good fellow, you look like somebody who has a lawn.
phuck_ob4ma: Indeed, I could not bear to live in this filthy place. I could not even afford my own plot of land to do as I please; although the one that I have is modest.
Socrates: Shall we say that the ideal lawn is mowed short and striped.
phuck_ob4ma: I should think so.
Socrates: I imagine also that you are a busy man; this is why you take to this comment section, to excise the stress of your tiring job. I cannot imagine you are disposed to keep your lawn perfectly trimmed at all times.
phuck_ob4ma: Well, I would be quite concerned if my lawn ceased to grow. But yes, maintaining a lawn is backbreaking work.
Socrates: Imagine for a moment that a wily child had snuck in and, for no compensation at all, mowed half your lawn-- and this is important-- in the shape of a large, veiny phallus when viewed from the sky.
phuck_ob4ma: How kind of the child, but I should mow the rest of it immediately.
Socrates: But you are not necessarily disposed, are you? Perhaps the lawnmower needs a top up of gas, or perhaps you normally wait a little longer before trimming your lawn.
Whatever the case, whereas before you would have been content to let your lawn grow longer, you are now under duress to mow your lawn--not a simple task, indeed something you might pay a child to do--coerced by an embarrassing image that was not present before, created by the removal of grass, just as dirt was removed from the pavement.
Of course, you might see fit to create an image yourself; but clearly the phallus is not to your taste, as the cryptocurrency announcement is not to the taste of the butcher.
phuck_ob4ma:
Socrates' comment was the last on this thread; phuck_ob4ma did not return. From this, Socrates knew not whether he had influenced the other man's views, but he was nevertheless satisfied that the matter had been settled.
It was then that he heard roosters crowing, and wondered if he should have gone to sleep.
