…i don’t even know where to start with describing how this year went. and i mean that with extreme positives and sad negatives. this year has felt like something of a paradigm shift for me - i found myself in brand new circles of friends that would have scared me before, i helped with projects i could only have dreamed of touching before, and i started questioning a lot of who i was, and what i wanted to be. it’s been one hell of a ride, but one where i’ve come through feeling stronger than ever before. let’s go through it.
i became maple irl
as much as you all know me as maple on the internet, in my real life i was still hiding my transness a lot, masking under a “non-binary” identity that people could conveniently ignore if they wanted. it was hurting a lot, and i knew that if i wanted to be me, i was going to have to… well, be me. at the start of the year i came out to my family as trans, and over time i came out in other places like my workspace, to my neighbours, to the… local corner shop where i grab lunch everyday?
it’s been weird, naturally. some people are still trying to get my name and pronouns right, and working in retail and trying to pass as a girl to customers who might not even understand what a “trans” is can be difficult. i’m definitely seeing progress, though! most importantly for myself, i’ve been able to be more free with my expression and personality without… tooooo many questions. i’m trying to be the loveable little weirdo i am almost anywhere without guilt or shame.
i started getting professional help
i’ve been dealing with anxiety and paranoia for many years, which has often snowballed me into some pretty unstable, frozen and depressive states that are very hard to control. when i started hrt late last year, those feelings just became even more difficult to control, so i finally found the courage to start getting help. for the past year i’ve been taking anti-depressants and dabbling in therapy, trying to find out what can be done about my mind. my mental state has improved quite a bit both because of these, and several improvements to my general life such as having local friends to support me, managing my time better and giving myself more room to relax and breathe, this journey is still ongoing, though - at some point i’d like to return to therapy to get some help with past trauma that’s still digging into my head, and anxiety isn’t something that can just go away, sadly. but we’ll get there eventually!
fragment got bigger and better (i think?)
with all sorts of chaotic emotions going through my head this year, the fragment sticker project started transforming into something a bit different, putting more of my emotions and raw thoughts into what i was writing, taking more notes from personal diaries (and writing more in said diaries), and creating more expansive stickers to take advantage of blank spaces. of course, there’s still a level of just random bullshit i think is funny, but this more personal side of things has ended up resonating with a lot of people and i want to continue down that path. on the more artistic side, i was able to start experimenting with spray paints and create my own sticker backings using stencils, which i hope to play with a lot more in the coming months as the weather perks up again.
i helped design an electronic badge
probably the biggest project i helped with this year was Chaos Communication Camp 2023’s event badge, the flow3r. it’s a touch-sensitive musical gizmo that can light up! as development on the project was reaching it’s final stages i was approached to help create the silkscreened design on it’s petals. working on this design was really fun - i haven’t worked in large groups like this often so it was great to be able to exchange ideas with other team members and get assistance on some of the more complex parts (i heavily thank timonsku for his vectorization work, absolutely glorious).
the final result is a design that’s incredibly playful while hiding a lot of intricate details. the badge contains references to CCC, musical instruments, animals, and they even let me put in some catgirl headphones! they put my handwriting on an sd card!! a goddamn sd card!!!!!! i don’t know when i’ll get an opportunity to do something like this again but i’m grateful i got to do it even if it’s just the once.
i found my locals
one big struggle for me in the past is that most of my friends lived pretty far away from me, so it’s been pretty hard to see anyone, and i felt quite alone in my hometown. so i started going to LGBT meetups to try and make some new friends! …and it didn’t really work for a while, because nobody else was going to the same one i was.
then, one day at work, i get at’d in a tweet by someone who spotted my stickers in town - some critter called sette. me, surprised, reaches out to it, and we start talking and meeting up. it introduced me to some of it’s friends, and we figured out we could go to the actual LGBT meetup that peeps go to, the Trans and Non-Binary Cafe at the local university. because apparantly you don’t have to be a university student to go to university? wild.
the results? not only are there trans people in this town who are as weird and chaotic as i am, but they’re also interested in doing sticker tagging thanks to seeing me all around town (being a known name is weird). somehow, i ended up with the perfect set of friends to have?? and i would end up with a new partner too, as me and sette would soon start dating, realizing that oh god, we are totally crushing on each other. wild!
i've been finding even weirder friends
outside of locals, there’s been big shifts in my online interactions too. i started taking an interest in an online circle called “empty spaces”, which used magical creatures and myths to create stories revolving around personal traumas, and coping / healing. through this, i found a different group - the junelings, headed by one June Strings. their teachings of self-acceptance and confidence in yourself have absolutely been what i needed, and i’m proud to say i’m now part of that little group too. i love these adorable little creatures.
over time i’ve found more friends who also make stickers, and encouraging many others to try their hand at it too. i’ve also been making more friends that indulge in more darker horror-ish type arts, which is something that’s always been appealing to me, but that i’ve been unsure in approaching. i’m glad i’m able to accept that in myself now and partake in it a bit better.
alright, so what's next then
well, i’ve got a few ideas. for one, moving out is finally becoming a realistic possibility now that there’s someone to move in here with (<3), so i’m going to be saving money for that venture. i’m going to also try and open up the fragment booth shop again to help with raising funds, selling stickers as usual plus some new works of art! the past couple of months have been sort of a fatigue period due to christmas work, and i’m starting to recover from that which means i could finally get on with making things again.
i’d like to travel more around my local county and expand the reach of the fragment project to get it all across Devon. i’m also going to be working on getting my passport finally so that i can travel overseas, though due to aforementioned moving plans i’m not sure if i’ll be able to travel abroad this year. we’ll see!
the special thanks section
while it hasn’t been the easiest year in my life, it certianly wasn’t the worst due to some absolutely lovely people supporting me, including:
- sette - i am so, so glad to have met you this year, you have helped me in ways i can’t properly describe, and hopefully we can make next year Our Year, my little twin star <3
- kat - i’m glad you managed to pull through to the end and i’m glad we’ve both found our happiness. love you, sis <3
- mark - thank you for all the help you’ve given me this year, and thank you for always being here for me, i love you <3
- crow, fox, cassidy, thursday, ollie, and bee (a.k.a The Local Crew) - we gotta collab and do more antics next year for sure!!! y’all are the best friends one could have <3
- june, niko, prince, and all the junelings (seriously if i list you all we’re gonna be here all day) - thank you for being an inspiration to us and everyone, you’ve helped me grow and mature into something More. [bite]
- anonymous system (u know who u are!) - thanks for helping us through the toughest of times and being paitent with us, it means more than you could know
- duck. - i’m sorry we didn’t get to see you more this year, but the times we did meet i hold close and appreciate immensely. maybe more meetups next year once all the chaos has calmed a bit? <3
i can’t write detailed thank you’s to everyone sadly (it would mostly just be me repeating myself a lot) so i also want to say a big thanks to (in no particular order!!):
ava, viktor, violet, tobach, nico, cookie, hannah, snow, buffy, avery, dx, kiwi, heatherhorns, VILE, jo, kit & sarah, veris, jewel, entertextinthe, ida deerz, esmerelda, june (the other one), spiders, 820, sunroses, and cyan
shoutouts to:
- exeter craft hub for continuing to provide the best pins
- exeter city council for semi-tolerating my bullshit (as far as i know)
- tobin bell for being the best villain in my comfort films
- mentha nolana for creating emotional mints to study and cry to
- and by extension, team imo for my favourite visual novel of the year, hello girl
- pringles texas bbq for getting me through the moments (but only when you go on sale)
- satya and new moon aromas for [eats an incense stick and dies immediately]
- the queen for staying dead and not changing the course of my holiday like she did last year
- the nova demoscene team (see you next year!)
- the exeter trans and non-binary cafe
- my breasts for existing
- everyone who’s messaged kind words to me about my art, it means more than you’ll know
and that just about wraps it up, i think? i think. i'm packing to go see mark and avery for the new year and i'm gonna try and take some time to actually rest. see you in the new year! c:

