Today is my birthday. I continue to be older than people assume. Birthdays have always been difficult for me and have only become more so since my mother’s death (27 hours of labour). Let’s look at the previous number (it’s 38, I’m 39 today, numbers are fake and meaningless).
The Bad
I lost two uncles (one on Saturday) and a cousin, all three unexpectedly, two to accidental death, one to cancer. It casts a pal on things.
The Mundane
I had contractors redo the concrete in my basement. I bought a new furnace. I bought a new washer. I bought a new dryer. I did my own taxes. I started flossing regularly.
The Mental
I am now cautiously seeing my psychiatrist every six months instead of every three months. I started keeping a book of validation. I broached the subject of my big abandonment trauma with my psychologist.
The Good (but still mundane)
I finished building (helped finish building) wall mounted bookshelves, providing enough space for my 1,250+ books (comics, manga, and miscellany not included). I read The Count of Monte Cristo and it was rad as fuck. I read probably 100 books total. I started actively trying to watch more contemporary movies. I started shyly joining in on a bad movie night discord where I use my mouth words. I finished a 30,000+ word fanfic and wrote approximately 50,000+ words of a new fanfic. I started working 4 days a week. I saw THREE rabbits playing in the community garden at once. I made cookies at Christmas for my neighbours. I baked a cake for the first time and it was enjoyed by the person I baked it for. I got to read the fifteenth volume of Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service after waiting for a long, long, long time.
I continue to survive and manage the challenges of existence, big and small, despite everything.
