June 8, 2023
SPIDER
BATH SURROUND
MY HOUSE
CANADA
Dear Spider:
RE: PLACE OF RESIDENCE, MY FILE NO. BATHROOM
If I must assume the role of landlord, I hope I am a benevolent and considerate one. However, I would politely suggest the corner of my tub surround, near the showerhead, is not a suitable location for your home. I admit to being unsure as to the relative size of things; in suggesting you move elsewhere, is it akin to telling a person (human) to move to another part of the city? Or is it the equivalent of telling you to move to another city or, perhaps, another province? I confess to being ignorant on these matters. I do not think it unreasonable to suggest you relocate to another part of the bathroom. Perhaps a wall that is not part of the bath itself? Please consider the merits of my proposal.
I look forward to seeing you not in my bathtub.
Yours truly,
Ingrid