taswell

@into-the-void

he/she/they

early 20s.
starting to make sense of the facade
the true self remains uncertain

masto

critter.cafe/@into_the_void

taswell @into-the-void9/10/2024, 8:28 AM

Gabu!! ☁️ ΘΔ @gabu

Erica @erica9/10/2024, 5:26 AM

this is gonna be rambly, sorry

a difficult thing i've been thinking about all day is, like, ... the future. not my future but the future of what i do. i spent the first couple hours of the day dooming about where to go/move but the reality of it is: i will be fine. i am very lucky. i started doing what i did at the perfect time and lucked into some very fortunate connections that propelled myself and my art into a space visible enough that I've secured a foundational base for years to come still. i worked very very hard to do what i do and being at the "right place" is because i put that work in. but i also got very lucky. since then ive built connections and lasting relationships that, no matter what, will keep my well-being safe and probably let me do what i do until i die. i'm very fortunate in that respect.

but all of this has made me really upset for what the future is like for people like me. who want to do what i do.

I started posting art on deviantART, a site that fostered discovery and community for artists. Trends, blogs, and questionnaires helped people build connections and create a space that encouraged people to create and share. Now, acquired by an Israeli tech company, the site is home to grifters and AI sludge, with little emphasis on community or interaction.

I developed design skills in graphic design forums, where we taught ourselves PS tricks and challenged each other in weekly sig contests. I'd later post a ton on the Giant Bomb forums, where I'd post my art and design skills, eventually catching the attention of the site's staff. The friendships and opportunities that gave me helped me with my first break when I quit my job and launched my Patreon. Now, forums are all but gone, relegated to closed Discords that function more like open chatrooms, disincentivizing anything that isn't chat-like discussion.

I built a community of friends and industry acquaintances on Twitter in its earlier days, which were certainly still bad, but I was younger and the site's growing base and present microcommunities meant my art quickly reached a lot of people that I'd otherwise have no access to. The hate machine was not yet fully active, people still had a meaningful desire to share things they thought were cool. Now, well, you know. I don't need to tell you that one.

All the foundational things to whatever my version of success and opportunity is are gone. they're replaced with nothing or something far worse. i'm less concerned about you "break" in this day and age, and i'm more worried about the first step. i don't know of any good spaces for people to just... create and explore and connect with like-minded people. it's not gonna be on tiktok, it's not gonna be on instagram, it's certainly not gonna be on sites like bluesky or mastodon. maybe it'll be on a discord? if they luck into the right one? if the vibes are right? if it's not too big? i had so many places to fuck around and find out and discover the kind of person i wanted to be online. i don't know what places people have now for that and it makes me want to cry, because cohost really did feel like that.

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in reply to @erica's post:

Lex @Lexfeathers9/10/2024, 5:36 AM

Noxulous of Fyth @Noxulous9/10/2024, 5:39 AM

I think i will miss your art most of all...

Miss Hell @MichelleDraws9/10/2024, 5:39 AM

Cohost had a surprisingly engaged userbase, like nothing you'd get on the main social media sites. It really did feel like the old Deviantart days sometimes. I miss those days. For as hopeless as I feel, I also feel for young artists who never got to experience those early days before the cynicism of social media consumed everything.

Erica @erica9/10/2024, 7:03 AM

I can only hope something comes along or that I'm just old and don't know what it is that gives some young artists this opportunity.

Brisken @Brisken9/10/2024, 5:52 AM

Fr. I always feel like I started way to late, my reddit addiction preventing me from joining other sites. Now it's probably just too late for me to try and create my own community.

Ashley @AshCarnelian9/10/2024, 6:32 AM

What the internet has become and is becoming is such a bummer. Even a decade ago it was so different from this.

Lyra @Lyra9/10/2024, 6:46 AM

this really does feel like the death of the dream of ever being noticed as an artist online. I really will have nothing now.

Erica @erica9/10/2024, 6:59 AM

It's rotten out there. I can't say there's anything better out there but at least seeing your art here and getting to follow it elsewhere is one of the many blessings this place gave me!

Lyra @Lyra9/10/2024, 7:11 AM

heh, you're gonna make me cry. You and so many other people on here are hugely inspirational to me and it sucks that I never worked up the courage to engage with you all on a more human level while we still had a site where that actually felt like a real and desirable thing

TV-MA @TV-MA9/10/2024, 7:57 AM

Hey I've never seen u around before, but opportunities to be noticed won't die here. These sites can't control anyone's desire to see new art (despite what most or them want u to think). Things won't look the way they looked before, but it doesn't mean your shot at finding an audience is dead.

Gabu!! ☁️ ΘΔ @gabu9/10/2024, 8:00 AM

the thing with all of these, tiktok, instagram and bluesky, is they were made for you to Consume, not Connect with others. the target audience is Consumers, and not People.

strongly agree with everything you said here :/

Minthara's happy trail @aenore9/10/2024, 10:24 AM

i'm feeling this so much. at the beginning of the year i expressed the wish on here to start drawing again sometime within the year. i was still building up the courage for it, and plugging my tablet to make proper handwriting for something the other day was i think my first step into overcoming the trauma associated with it. now i... am not sure i even want to take the second step.

Froey @froey9/10/2024, 10:38 AM

I've lost interest in the format of social media like bluesky, twitter, Facebook, etc. overtime. I want places where I can find artists work and it seems like Patreon is the only best bet until they put up more restrictions. :/

Peyton @gee-man9/10/2024, 12:39 PM

You've put into words a feeling I've been struggling with the last 24 hours. Cohost didn't mint a crown for me but it felt like a place I could post art and be genuine about it. Every other platform makes me feel like I'm trying to sell something. I dislike that much of my art career is tied to social media, but the internet has made building a community and audience anywhere else feel functionally impossible.

I've been doing this a while but the tumultuous nature of the internet makes me feel like I'm perpetually in the building phase, so to speak. Just have to grind a bit more, sell a little harder, and surely I can build a sustainable audience this time. I hope something else comes along, I almost have to believe it will to stay sane, but it's tiring to think I'll have to build it up again.

vibe (cohost hater (real))@vibe9/10/2024, 1:46 PM

i think hope will always be there, as there will be places to grow. people will find the way if they want it that badly, and whatever that will come is going to be from outside the boxes we might be thinking of.

vibe (cohost hater (real))@vibe9/10/2024, 1:48 PM

just saying, internet is a place where anyone can make a website, so new websites are inevitable. you can't put that genie back into the bottle.

xyzzy @xyzzy9/10/2024, 1:49 PM

yeah it’s hard. this site felt really receptive to art and writing. i’ve been working on a short story collection and was honestly kinda jazzed to post it here when it was done, even if i’ve never had the biggest reach on the website. whoops

Retro Heart @retroheart9/11/2024, 9:07 PM

This hit hard, and it took a while to find the right words. Still not sure I have 'em, but. I think so much of the Internet as a place being flattened down into three websites really amplifies how hard it is to feel seen and both discover others and be discovered, even more so with everything being driven by algorithms and chipping away at the human element. I genuinely worry that there's a generation coming up that isn't creating what they want to make, hoping others will enjoy it, they're creating what they think will please an algorithm for the chance for it to be seen to begin with.

Maybe it's my shy bullied kid turned introverted stoic adult nature, but I've always had a hard time reaching out to people, particularly other artists, because everywhere else it felt like I was a nobody among giants. I got comments and follows and likes here from artists I really respect - you included! - and that means the world to me. It's what made Cohost feel right after literal decades of spinning my tires on social media and, to a lesser extent, Gaia Online and DeviantArt before that. If I have any real regrets it's that I didn't get over myself to foster those connections and try to get to know people a bit more, but... I guess there's still time.

I just wanna make art and share it without feeling like it's going into a void to be consumed and immediately forgotten. It's a complicated set of feelings. I still have to believe that human element is out there, that those connections can still be made, even if the spaces to do that in feel like they're being stamped out. The alternative is just too depressing to think about.