iliana
@iliana

today’s thought-provoking question: what’s the fastest way to burn $10,000 in fares with an ORCA card?


selectric
@selectric

ferries. definitely ferries. off the top of my head the seattle-bremerton one-way fare is approx. $10. but i'm 90% sure you can pay vehicle ferry fares with an ORCA too, so... uh, gimme a sec.


selectric
@selectric

i'm guesstimating that the Anacortes-Sidney route has the highest fares, on account of being the longest, so i've blithely continued on this exploration without checking the other terminals. of the 5 other ferry stops you can get to from Anacortes, the most expensive somehow isn't Sidney, which is LITERALLY IN CANADA, but Friday Harbor. make it make sense. here's the fare chart.

$57.55 for a standard vehicle1, that's 173 round trips (or single sailings from Anacortes, but like, you gotta get yr car back there somehow.)--doable in a year if you're really dedicated and don't just buy the monthly vehicle pass for $213.60. you could do that for 46 months, assuming the state legislature doesn't raise the fares before august 2027, so obviously that's not going to get shit done the fastest. (i don't think you can load monthly ferry passes onto an ORCA card anyway.)

but the fees start racking up the longer yr ride is. so let's get silly with it before taking a slightly more reasonable (albeit still very silly) approach.

off the top of my head, the longest bus in the world is one of those brazillian bi-articulated BRT buses. wikipedia says volvo will sell you 30 damn metres of bus, so let's roll with it. that's 98.4 feet of bus. the first 80 feet go for $457.10, and i'm guessing they don't do fractional feet on the extra length surcharge2, so you're looking at $559.70 for one long bus.3 just 17 round trips, and you've blown a cool 10k. plus however much the bus costs. and a lot of diesel.

i was curious about how many trips you'd have to make with a slightly more manageable vehicle (perhaps even one you don't need a commercial drivers license for!), but this requires a bit more searching. i only have a vague conception of what a foot is, and know that the trailer part of an 18-wheeler is typically 53'. an ISO container you see on the back of a truck is 40'. but those are commercial vehicles. you know what's about as long but somehow, probably against our best interests, doesn't require a CDL? a goddamn RV. a "class A" recreational vehicle (the big ones that look like fancy tour buses) is usually around 36' to 45', depending on if you're towing anything with it, but In General you don't need a special license to drive one around4. this should terrify you. it terrifies me. BUT, it does mean we can spend $285.85 for a vehicle fare as long as it's greater than 40' and less than 50' long.

now, i'm not going to say that an RV that costs roughly $600k purchased new is a practical way to achieve this goal, but it does cost less than purchasing and importing a 30 metre bus from brazil. i haven't looked it up, but i guarantee you this. just 34.9 round trips, and you've spent that entire $10,000 of ORCA stored value. you'll have to top it up a bit more to get an even 35. check the sofa cushions of yr used RV for some spare change.

  1. you have no idea how excited i was when i looked up what cars are short enough to qualify for the "short car" (i.e. less than 168 inches) discount and found out that my golf squeaks by with a half-inch to spare.
  2. past 80 feet, they just charge you $5.70 per foot.
  3. good christ, i have never done this much recreational arithmetic at once. vehicle fare includes the vehicle's passengers, and volvo claims that this bus holds around 180 people. assuming that they're all adults over 18 (but not seniors, or anyone else eligible for a discounted fare), it would cost $285.30 for all of them to just walk on to the ferry without a vehicle.
  4. At Large, a vehicle less than 50' or so and under 26,000 pounds doesn't require a CDL if it's an RV. we are very much in the Each State Has Their Own Rules, Fuck You If You're Trying To Work This Out zone. god bless america.

selectric
@selectric

in honour of cohost's imminent and unforutnate demise, i'm thinking about one of the only times i've ever done math voluntarily


StrawberryDaquiri
@StrawberryDaquiri
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