I am an irredeemable slut, which is why I have typically gone out of my way to eat burgers at the various fast food places local to me. All the places listed must have a drive-thru present at at least one (1) of their locations. If it doesn't have a drive-thru, I'd probably stick it in the fast-casual dining.
"Local" is defined as restaurants with an extant, operating location in my town, and not strictly as restaurants exclusive to my area, though those truly local joints will be included. My usual order is a cheeseburger with ketchup, onions, and mustard, with no pickle, tomatoes, or lettuce.
This list is in no particular order and I'm assigning numbers out of 10 based on a holistic review of the "vibes" of the meal and restaurant itself. Since fries are ubiquitous, I'll also comment on those.
Runza - I'm starting this list with a chain that is, indeed, local to my state. They're more well-known for their runzas (or bierocks, a bun stuffed with ground beef, cabbage, and optionally cheese), but their burgers are what I go there for. Runza burgers are hand-shaped, and it's pretty obvious--I've had ones shaped like Lithuania on a good day, Somalia on a bad day. They're sometimes over-grilled and can be dry, which means they tend to fall apart. Runza tops their burgers with diced onions, which tend to fall out with each bite. The bread also sucks up moisture and threatens to disintegrate as you eat it, but miraculously holds together. Their burgers can be pretty greasy depending on who's cooking them, which honestly makes them much better. When you get a good burger, they're very good--thankfully, I've had more good experiences than bad.
The service at runza is infamously slow compared to other restaurants, and they made this into a selling point during an ad campaign - "Our food takes longer to make because we're actually making your food." 7/10 but they really need to get better about consistency.
Fries - One of my biggest issues with runza is their seemingly inability to fry things consistently. I've often gotten fries that are pale, floppy little things that still manage to be alarmingly hot. I've gotten fries that could have been made by God itself. Spring for the frings if you go to get a couple extra onion rings--I sometimes like to top my burger with one.
Burger King - Regrettably, the BKs in my town have dwindled in quality to such an extent that I actively avoid them, despite really liking the flavor of their burgers compared to similar joints. I have a bit of nostalgia for their double cheeseburgers and rodeo burgers, which were perfect little after school snacks. Something about the way the cheese melted between the patties just delighted me. Nowadays, BK is plagued by dry, crumbly buns, dubiously-cooked meat, and incorrect orders--if you get your order at all. If I were reviewing BK a few years back, it would've earned a solid 6/10 for me. Now, it's a 1/10.
Fries - Years ago BK changed their fries and they've been worse for it since. Get the onion rings instead, even if they're also nothing to write home about.
McDonald's - I mean, listen. I never claimed that I lived in an exciting or exotic place. I don't. We have mconald's. Everywhere has mconald's. But I want to get this one out of the way because it's so, yknow, base. The wrinkle is that mcDonald's has different patties and buns for their basic cheap burgs and their Premium™ menu options, and they really can't be treated as the same item.
The cheap burgs would be like, a basic McDouble. This is probably what I prefer to get at McDonald's, since I'm never typically going to McDonald's for genuine enjoyment. It's fuel for when I'm too busy with other stuff, and it doesn't make me sick (yet). The patties are dry and a bit crumbly, but since they've started grilling the meat with the rehydrated onions, there's a bit more flavor. What makes or breaks McD's cheap burgs for me is the addition of a slice of cheese. As far as I'm concerned, mcdonald's burgers are inedible without it, and truthfully the single patties don't melt the cheese enough for my preferences. That's why the mcdouble (or double cheeseburger) is the better option--you really need that melted cheese to make this worth the trip. 4/10.
Meanwhile their Premium™ options (like the quarter-pounder) are objectively juicier, but truthfully, they lack flavor--even though I know they're seasoning these things with salt and pepper. The nice thing is that they're a bit more filling, and they hold heat better, so the cheese on them really adheres to the meat. My biggest issue with the quarter-pounder is that it's fucking expensive, and if I'm going to spend that amount of money anyway, I'd rather go to a better drive-thru. 5/10.
Fries - The fries at mcdonald's are only good if they're fresh and sufficiently fried. If they're underfried or cold, they're unenjoyable, and ketchup won't save them. If the cashier at the drive-thru asks you to pull forward and wait in the reserved space, rejoice; it probably means your fries will be edible.
Amigo's - You would expect that with a Spanish-language name, this would be a Mexican fast food place, and you'd be partially correct. They're kind of a conglomerate of friends (??) that serve different types of food from different brands, all out of the same building. So Amigo's represents the Mexican food, but they also have Kings Classic for burgers and cheese frenchees, along with coffee and donuts that are also co-branded. The burgers are, like, fine. The patty is inoffensive in flavor but often dry, thin, and largely forgettable. It has a peculiar aftertaste that I can't quite pin down, but it isn't strictly unpleasant. Just weird. 3/10 for this burger, as it feels so much like an afterthought compared to everything else on the menu.
Fries - Now, here's the thing--Amigo's fries are delicious. Something about the way they prepare and fry them gives them this additional, flaky layer of crispness that I haven't found replicated anywhere else. They have a little extra flavor compared to other fries, but they aren't seasoned; part of me wonders if the oil takes on the flavor of the other stuff they use it for. Excellent with ketchup or without, would likely be heavenly with cheese dip.
Wendy's - I used to rely a lot on Wendy's during my undergrad. For the price, I couldn't complain about what I was getting. Their claim to fame is their square patties and never-frozen beef, which I do think makes a noticeable difference compared to other places. Their patties are slightly more flavorful, and I suspect there's a bit more sugar in the buns, so they're a little sweeter as well. However, they tend to slice their onions thickly, which makes their burgers messier to eat than I'd like. I often bite into my burger to discover that the worker only put the ketchup and mustard in the inside of an onion slice, creating a little soup of condiments. It makes the eating experience unpleasant. Their basic burgers are also way too small, unfortunately. 4/10.
Fries - Here's where Wendy's has cracked the code compared to similar fast food places. Their fries are great and consistently hot and crispy every time I've been. I like the "natural cut" style. Sometimes a little too salty, but I'd rather deal with that than soggy fries. If wendy's and mcdonald's were equally convenient for me, I'd choose wendy's for the fries.
Don & Millie's - This is another local chain, and one of my favorites. They definitely exude that "old fashioned diner just like you remember" atmosphere, and if my memory's right, they keep jukeboxes installed and their locations have the name in neon lights on the outside. Orders are taken by hand by staff instead of punched into a computer, and they have a pretty expansive and reasonably-priced menu.
The burgers are typically pretty juicy without being too greasy, and have a generously-portioned patty. They're very well-seasoned for fast food in Nebraska, and have a true, meaty flavor. Best of all, the cheese sticks well to both the patty and the bun, so I suspect they actually melt the cheese while it's on the grill, rather than relying on the heat of the patty to melt it during assembly.
I'm one of those people who often eats in his car, so it's important that my food stays together, and these burgers hold up. Another plus is that the buns themselves don't get greasy, too. I'm not sure how they managed that, because the burgers at D&M's (nobody calls it that) definitely don't have that "healthy burger" flavor that you'd get at certain cafeterias. It's not the most exciting burger, but it's filling and decently portioned. 8/10.
Fries - The fries at Don & Millie's are just OK. They're like a step above McDonald's, but it's not a high step. Similarly, they must be eaten hot, or they get stuck together in a clump. It's off-putting.
Sonic - The real reason to go to sonic is for the drinks and general variety of snacks--not the burgers themselves. The burgers taste like an obligation. They aren't bad, but they definitely have a density to them that can be a little weird to bite into. The taste itself is heavy and meat-and-grease-forward. I think they might be working with a patty that has a higher fat content, but honestly, don't take my word for it. I have no idea what I'm talking about.
Sonic makes the intriguing decision of putting the cheese on the bottom of the patty rather than the top. When making burgs at home, I tend to put the condiments on the bottom bun--I guess the idea is that they hit your tongue first, which changes how things taste a bit. I think this kind of works at Sonic, and also prevents the top of the burger from becoming slippy and falling to pieces. 4/10.
Fries - Skip the fries from Sonic. They're a mix between McDonald's and Wendy's that just doesn't work. They have the same sort of flavor as the fries you get at the grocery store after baking them per instructions in the oven, rather than like, actually frying the damn things.
Freddy's - This place is known for their smashed steakburgers and hoo boy do I hate these. I don't care for smashburgers to begin with, especially when the person cooking them gets overzealous and crushes them 'til they're basically just flattened puck of burnt meat. I really, really don't like the "lacelike" crunchy edges, and typically end up picking them off. Freddy's basic cheeseburger also doesn't come with ketchup by default, which I think is a baffling decision. After I've removed the offending crunchy bits (that almost always hang over the edge of the bun) and added my own ketchup, it's not a bad burger--but it's very inconvenient to eat. 4/10.
Fries - The issue with Freddy's fries is that they're extremely thin, so they don't retain heat well. I love them when they're fresh, but they get cold very quickly. They're also saltier than other places' fries? I can't 100% confirm that, but my memory of eating these fries is feeling pretty dried out fairly quickly. Skip the fries and grab cheese curds instead.
Dairy Queen Grill and Chill - I rarely get to this place, since, frankly, the nearest one to me has a Culver's right next door that I prefer. DQ's burger occupies a similar place in my mind as Sonic's, probably because most often you're going for something else. It's a basic burger. There's nothing offensive about it. Maybe it's a little on the greasy side. Honestly, it's pretty forgettable. I don't have much else to say about this one. ?/10 because I genuinely can't remember the last time I went here.
Fries - Also forgettable. Get the cheese curds instead.
Culver's - I like Culver's burgers a lot, and it's honestly mainly for the soft, squishy buns and how the bread mingles with the juicy patty as well. They seem to be on the sweet side compared to other places. The buns also hold up well to moisture from the patty and condiments, and my favorite part is when my last bite has a generous amount of ketchup, mustard, and onions. The toppings are typically evenly-applied, so you don't get the danger of having a mix of dry and overly-messy bites. Overall, a great option, even if the drive-thru takes a little longer compared to other places. 7/10.
Fries - Honestly, the fries at Culver's are boring. Standard crinkle-cut ones that, in my experience, aren't always flavorful enough. They're weirdly mealy and dry compared to other crinkle-cut fries, and I've got no idea how they manage that. This is another place where it's a smarter choice to pay a little extra for onion rings or cheese curds.
Greg's Drive-In - Here's the weirdo of the bunch, which is why I saved it for last. Greg's is freakishly delicious. But nobody ever fucking goes there. I've never had to wait in line behind more than 1 car. There's never anyone in the parking lot. Locals joke that it's a front for something else, which is how they stay open. Others suggest it's owned by a retired couple who've already made their money and just want to do this. In any case, Greg's is great. I've been known to go out of my way to get a meal from here, despite being in a totally separate part of town.
The burger is well-cooked and only made when you order it. They've never made any mistakes with mine, and the folks who work there are friendly. Good menu selection, with some premium sides that aren't typically served at other places--mozzarella sticks, mini corndogs, and three different kinds of fries. The patty is nicely-proportioned and never overly-greasy--if anything it always has just the right amount of grease. Toppings are added thoughtfully so the burger doesn't fall to pieces, and their food is very filling. I could eat a single meal from Greg's at lunch and not have any hunger pangs for the rest of the day. I've always been very satisfied with the food here. Greg's also makes the right choice in sticking the toppings on the bottom instead of, well, the tops of the patties.
The trouble is that this place is the WORST at nickle-and-diming you. There's a charge for everything--each additional topping (including condiments) is 50 cents extra. Want water? Better be prepared to shill out a dime for the cup. Obviously, cash is preferred, so get ready to pay a card fee. They never give you a total at the window, unless you ask. It's a bizarre practice. I've never felt completely ripped off, since the quality is good--it's just a little irritating. 10/10--I admittedly was tempted to dock a point about the weird money shit, but ultimately, I've never felt dissatisfied about what I got compared to what I paid, so maybe I shouldn't complain much.
Fries - Like I said, there are three different kinds of fries here. French, curly, and steak. They're all great, and fried when you order--I figured this out when I tried to eat some and burnt my mouth lol. The basic fries here are like REALLY GOOD McDonald's fries that are ALWAYS fresh when you get them. The curly fries are appropriately-seasoned, and the steak fries offer a satisfying bite. While I still think Amigo's fries are the best in town, Greg's is the safer--and maybe better--choice for their consistency and variety.
And this concludes my review of the fast food burgers I've eaten in my town. I'm sure it was enlightening, and quite possibly opened your eyes to what fast food places are like in a relatively large middle American city that honestly doesn't have the most exciting food culture. If I were talking about our fast-casual burger options, this list would be WAY longer and have more stand-out options. Maybe I'll save that for another day.