Marc

I've been busy scanning and archiving past issues of Original Plumbing: Trans Male Culture Magazine! Each issue focuses on a particular topic, from labor to parenting to environmentalism to art and more. Though OP centered on transmasculine folks, people of all genders are featured. These are incredibly well-designed and edited magazines--I can't recommend them enough! I scanned 11 issues, which are now available on archive.org. Links below the readmore! Some magazines feature nudity and sexual/erotic imagery, so please be aware of that while browsing.

All things considered, I'm doing pretty alright. I can move around, getting in and out of bed/chairs is getting easier and less painful, my body is digesting food as it should. But it still sucks.

Ironically, the degree of pain I'm feeling now, after a major surgery and having multiple organs removed, is less intense and more manageable than the cramping I felt from atrophy + endometriosis. It feels a little scarier, though, since any pain I'm getting now is typically due to moving around in a particular way.

I'm extremely lucky my husband is here - it's been hard to keep up on basic wellness tasks like eating or brushing teeth. The oxy I'm taking also has some peculiar effects - after taking one of them, when I close my eyes and drift off to sleep I see bright, vivid colors, far more intense than fireworks. It's weird and kinda cool, but I'm trying to stick to the less potent painkillers for now.

Anyway - just a brief update. I'm also very fortunate that my surgeon didn't require me to stop taking testosterone before surgery, as other surgeons sometimes do. The acute post-op menopause is apparently hellish to endure, and I likely won't have to deal with the worst aspects of that.

I'm also very bored and tired of the hydration/pissing cycle. It just sucks and I wanna feel better already!

Tomorrow morning, I'll be getting up bright and early for my hysterectomy - a procedure I've been trying to schedule and afford on and off for nearly ten years now. Getting my gonads removed has been an idea I've kicked around in the back of my hands even before figuring out I was trans, and I've never really considered it a transitional goalpost in the same way top surgery or HRT was.

Lately I've had a little bit of a fire under my ass to get it taken care of because of a couple reasons - some chronic pain issues due in part to (what's most likely) endometriosis alongside atrophy due to HRT, and also the political climate. I've had enough hiccups delay this procedure for a decade (whether it was school, work, or personal responsibilities, lack of money/sick leave, or whatever). I don't need the hate of some small-minded politician getting in the way.

Anyway - the thing I'm most bothered by is the recovery process. This will be a laparoscopic surgery, so the majority of healing will be internal and invisible. I hate feeling unable to do anything, and in the past few days leading up to surgery, I feel the itch of multiple projects that I want to complete. So, tamping down the urge to work, and focusing on resting and healing, is probably gonna be tough. I'm very lucky that my husband has already been through this, and is also very good at helping me rein in my compulsions.

I've got some anxiety, of course - going under the knife and staying in a hospital isn't my preferred way to spend a day or two - but ultimately, I'm relieved. As long as I have the capability to become pregnant, I don't think I'd feel like I have complete ownership of my body. Like there's always a caveat, or a scenario I need to worry about in worst-case situations. Plus, I'll be able to go about my days without worrying as much about debilitating cramping. Despite the pain and discomfort that'll happen through recovery, I think I'll feel similarly to how I did after top surgery - like I can stretch my mind out to accompany every inch of body, and live with a better outlook on life.