everyone loves it when the eggbug does a victimless white collar crime or two
it's not fun. it's marginally better here but it's still not fun.
last time i went Truly Viral (sailor moon hotline pre-shutdown) it cost me nearly $2k over the course of a month. you don't want this.
having a viral tweet is a lot of fun if you love receiving five notifications a second, being purposefully misunderstood by reactionaries, feeling like you're under constant surveillance for 36 hours, being followed by droves of normies who will be unfollowing a day later because they were uncomfortable with the niche adult content you usually engage with, and having your words reposted to 4chan for mockery and published by the daily dot for praise without your consent!
love going viral love having 10k+ followers meaning you are no longer human you are a consumable product to be chewed you do not have a soul and any desire to be removed from the pedestal forced upon you by the insane concept of microcelebrity status or any other complaints about it are reduced to "someone's just mad at being popular" and not being thankful for the gun being held in your mouth as if (gestures to everyone's prior words) is in any way enviable just because posts get seen a little easier
love to see and feel people literally treat you differently or be mad at you or whatever shit is projected onto you for something out of your control that has near-zero percentage transfer into any sort of real life or monetary reward
love being approached at any time with follower count in someone's mind first and anything about me as a person coming third or fourth or later
having someone craft a marionette of you in their mind based on whatever numbers are appended to your account and insinuate the most incorrect shit imaginable feels insane any time i think about it
going viral is one of the most miserable "positive" (HUGE air quotes there) experiences you can have online. even if you're a creative of some kind and you've somehow managed to make your content go viral rather than some necessarily context-free Take, the tradeoff almost isn't even worth it. any tweet ive ever made that hits even 500 RTs or so gets muted instantly because Number Go Up ain't worth that psychic damage
