Hey-meowdy-hey, lawn fawns! I'm Herb Petgrass, from Pet Grass Perennial! What's perennial? It keeps coming back! Pet grass? You sure as hell will! You'll pet my grass like there's no tomorrow. You'll pet my grass like you gobbled the whole brownie before it hit and now you can't remember colours! That's right, you're on the floor now - get to pet! HERB PETGRASS. You've pet the rest, now pet this mess! HERB PETGRASS. I'm the pro! I've pet every grass! Kentucky bluegrass, ryegrass, couchgrass - forget that shit! Run your hand over my bush! Do it the wrong way and I'll kill you! HERB PETGRASS. You've had enough? No you haven't, because that grass is perennial! You can't stop now, you can't say no - this grass is big enough for three or more of us! You can't name a third friend? Suck it up; you've got grass to pet! Now you're the perennial! You'll keep coming back! You'll never stop!
AV by @distressedegg
- they/them
🔞 I say lots of heck words and post questionable smut. Stick around if that's your thing, but if you're below legal age to view such things in your jurisdiction, kindly go someplace else.
🚜 Bob Semple was right.