my first convention in three years is tomorrow, also my first "trip" "away from home" in that time (I mean, it's an hour and 20 minutes away, it's JUST far enough and the hotels are JUST cheap enough that I get a hotel instead of driving in each day). and I'm nervous! I keep thinking "what if I forgot how to do this" with "this" being anything from running games to traveling to talking to strangers.
and this is just about the most foolproof "ease back in" con I could have chosen. it's SMALL (it's a college con, on campus, with attendees almost entirely being current students and alumni), it's FAMILIAR (I've been going to this con for years, I know all the regular crew of alumni attendees, everyone who is signed up for one of my games is someone I've gamed with before), it's an EASY con, it's one of two that I always considered my "home" conventions. (funny enough, this actually ISN'T the college I went to, I keep talking about alumni here but I am not one; my BROTHER went to this school and I met everyone here through him)
and even knowing that, I'm still nervous. you know, I've made my little lists and I have my plan and every "oh no what if" I come up with has an easy and obvious solution. I mean, I'm not going to the arctic; I'm going to a small college town with a wegmans and a walmart; I have a car, a phone, a credit card, and will be surrounded by friends, so there's kind of a ceiling to "how wrong could it realistically go".
AND YET. what if my car explodes and my games are bad and everyone hates me