jennschiffer

🫰😈🫰

middle-aged dirtbag baby


yes i am one of those sickos who runs their own Mastodon instance
pixel.kitchen/@jenn
people are always surprised when they find out i'm the one who made this
make8bitart.com/
during quarantine i started a lifestyle blog as a bit, but turns out i was born 2 blog
livelaugh.blog/

posts from @jennschiffer tagged #rage against a kitchen appliance

also:

the worst kitchen appliance in all the world is probably in a garage or garbage dump somewhere but i think of it often: my dad's estranged wife's crockpot that he got her for christmas when i was around 13. she was an awful cook already and this was just a device for her to have her awful cooking SIMMER FOR 8 HOURS STRAIGHT and in a quantity that meant it would be our dinner for FOUR STRAIGHT DAYS.

i once saw her dump a whole jar of welch's grape jelly into this thing. she saw me and said "if you tell your brother and sister [her and my dad had 2 kids], i will kill you." and she meant it - she was an awful, physically and emotionally violent monster. she was making sweet and sour meatballs? worst thing i ever had.

the second worst dish was the swedish meatballs - this bitch loved to make meatballs! i can't tell you why these were awful, they just were. my half siblings and i would sneak them to our dog. that dog DIED of KIDNEY FAILURE. rip bear, it should have been HER!