sometimes i feel like im not a real person and more like an operated toy. a conditional reaction limited to whatever outside element is fed into the process. a series of cliches and catchphrases constantly replaced to keep fresh and exciting as to not bore. a generated algorthmic response only heard when prompted to do so. a chemical spark activated to burn for only a moment and then be forgotten in darkness until the match is flicked by a hand again. nothing there until a button is pressed.
toys wear out their joints and crack their plastic. clowns makeup starts running from sweat and tears. the spotlight starts to burn the skin of the comedian. it hurts so bad to make you smile, entertainment shouldnt be allowed to feel this way, its just entertainment. its not allowed to be anything more than that. its not allowed to be a person like you. so why is it in so much pain? why doesnt anyone care when it starts to scream static and technical difficulties? why doesnt anyone acknowledge the effort it takes? why would everyone rather criticize it for fulfilling its fucking purpose?