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two
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After changing Discord to be in Comic Sans I remembered the Comic Sans Secret Menu article by @spiders, and I've noticed something odd about the font files I have here...

Example text ("Unofficial tangerine") in comic sans normal and italic styles. The lowercase t curls at the bottom in the italic style.

Comic Sans Pro (or Comic Sans 2010, which may or may not actually be the same thing) adds proper italic and bold styles to Comic Sans, instead of just automatically generated ones. Most noticable here is that the lowercase letter t now has a little curl on it in the italic style. Nice. Now, that's the only letter that actually changes shape in the italic style... or is it?

A type specimen for Comic Sans Italic. The lowercase f has a descending, curled tail.


This is the promo image for Comic Sans Italic from the page where you can buy it. You can see that the f has a descending tail, which is a traditional element of italic type (being based on handwriting). So it seems the comic sans I have on my computer, even though it has the OpenType features and real italic style, is missing this one detail which this, even more real italic font, has. Or does it??

A font preview widget for Comic Sans Italic. The text "no long f??" is entered and the letter f displays normally, instead of with the long tail.

Okay... so the specimen was written using some mystical version of comic sans which isn't even the one being sold on the same page. This comic sans is, in fact, probably really Comic Sans Pro Italic, available only as part of the Comic Sans Pro Complete Family Pack:

The text "fantastic. what is happening" entered into the widget for Comic Sans Pro Italic. The lowercase f has that long tail again.

But if you weren't paying attention you might not realise that the Comic Sans Pro Complete Family Pack isn't just the four fonts called Comic Sans put together. So far as I can tell, the long f is the only difference between the Pro italic comic sans and the non-Pro version. Aside from the "ju" kerning pair which I'm pretty sure is a lot smaller in Pro:

Comic Sans Italic (not pro) reading "computers just deal with numbers", a phrase which was also in the type specimen from before. The gap between the j and u in "just" is noticably wider than the other gaps between letters in the sentence.

This comic sans (which is built into Windows now) still has the full set of OpenType features (the secret menu) which were originally made for Comic Sans 2010 (or maybe Comic Sans 2010 has even more, who knows). Where it gets weird is that the features do some slightly different things in the italic style. ss03 (stylistic set 3), which enables a double-storey a and g, does one more thing...

Multiple lines of "Unofficial tangerine" as before, in italic and normal styles. The lines with (ss03) have the letter a and g in fancier styles that are harder to handwrite. The italic line with ss03 also has the long f characters from before.

It enables the long f! It was there all along! But it's a little weird that it would be part of the same set as the fancier a/g. A lot of fonts go from the double-storey a/g to versions more like what comic sans normally has in their italic forms, and I don't know of any that do it the other way around. Perhaps what makes Comic Sans Pro truly Pro is that you can actually emulate a font family with fancy normal type and italic italics properly. But now we've gotten to the bottom of this mystery, I've uncovered one more secret from comic sans. So enabling the "swash alternates", on the normal font style, gives you this fancy effect on capital letters:

The text "Very Fancy Title Swash Alternates". The capital letters at the start of each word are larger than normal and have swashing embellishments on them.

This was already known. If you enable it for italics, however...

Italic comic sans text with swashes applied to not just the capital letters, but also the letters k,m,n,r,s,w,y,z. w and r have swashes that curl over the next letter, s curls into itself, and k, n, and z curl under the next letter. The text points out that "The word 'worse' looks truly disturbing like this", and in that sentence the k/s pair in "looks" and r/b in "disturbing" also collide in a somewhat messy way. w/i and n/g actually align nicely, but the swash from a letter r half-misses the dot from a following i. The overall effect is very weird.

I have no explanation for this.


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in reply to @two's post:

you are fucking blessed. it makes me so, so happy that i've raised awareness about comic sans weirdness, and that i'm no longer the only person on earth who knows about this shit,

and also that i'm learning new things about comic sans that even i, the comic sans weirdo, didn't even know about