jae

Juice: yeah there we go. good pocket mobility, strong arm, extremely mistake-averse, terrifying accuracy. all things Valentine has in spades

but most important is her ability to make reads. the other six qbs on the field were very good at this but the way Val could make her reads, it was like watching someone sitting on a park bench on a nice day, leisurely reading analyze that cover to cover

i mean sometimes they would empty out most of the backfield. they’d send damn near every eligible receiver. the eight deep wideouts, the 19 standard wideouts, the tight end, eight running backs. that’s 36 reads she had to make

but she also had lots of pocket protection. even the biggest scariest defenses took a good 30 seconds to get to her. it should not be legal for someone like Valentine to have that much time in the pocket

she would just eat defenses alive. it wasn’t even a–

Ten: I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It took me a minute, but I think you think Analyze That was a book.

Juice: uh

alright i’ll be honest, i saw an Analyze That lunchbox and just assumed it inspired a book at some point

Ten: There was a

Ten: Hang on

Ten: Tell me about this lunchbox

Juice: it was uh, it was like a lunchbox that had two guys on it and it said Analyze That on it

Ten: And you thought they wrote a book based off it

Juice: y–

yeah

Ten: So like the foundational work for an entire book would be a lunchbox

With two random guys on it

And the words Analyze That with no explanation or context

Juice: sure why not? seems like there’s a lot there

Ten: Nevermind

Nine: Ha, love it when you stop punctuating. It’s like you’re groaning. It’s endearing.

Ten: Fuck you there is nothing endearing about me