jkap

CEO of posting

butch jewish dyke
part of @staff, cohost user #1
married to @kadybat

This user can say it
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not anymore lol

bark
@bark

don't live in america? incredibly confused by the sheer number of timezones that place has? try ✨ usa clock ✨. sorta uses some population and timezone and sleep schedule data to estimate how many americans are awake [stolen idea].

are you american? use exciting new 🦘 australia and 🥝 new zealand options


two
@two

i know exactly when to post so that barely any Americans will be awake to see it (right now)




Yiddish-Folktales
@Yiddish-Folktales

A Bridge in Khelm

A river flowed right through the middle of Khelm. It occurred to several merchants that a bridge over it would be good for business on both sides of the river. But some of the younger people objected. They said: “Of course it would be nice to build a bridge, but let’s not do it because it would be good for business; we should build it solely for aesthetic reasons. We’ll be glad to contribute to the building expenses for beauty’s sake, but we won’t give a penny for the sake of trade.” Still others, even younger people, said, “A bridge! That’s a good idea, but not for the sake of trade or beauty but to have someplace to stroll back and forth. We’ll be glad to contribute money to build a bridge for strolling.” And so the three groups began to quarrel, and they are quarreling still. And to the present day Khelm does not have a bridge.

* * *

Glossary

* * *

AnnotationsCOLLECTOR: I. Olsvanger, (no date recorded)
SOURCE: Olsvanger (1947), p. 117.


the-future-of-football
@the-future-of-football

TRACEY: Ohhhh hey I got good news! The ball hit a fire station. That's a public building! No rights to negotiate, nothing. You should be able to just walk right in there and drag it away. Just uh ...

LACRECIA: This is just silly. I don't deserve this.

TRACEY: ... huh, it's got some kind of landmark designation? I mean it's a fire station, I don't know why it has that. My maps are probably fucked up or something.

TRACEY: Anyway, it

LACRECIA: All these people are out here for little old me. Shit ...

TRACEY: looks like it hit the roof on the southeast corner of the building, crashed right through the roof. That took most of the wind out of it. It might be dug just a little bit into the concrete, but it won't be buried. Shouldn't have trouble getting to it. Just pull right up to the garage.

TRACEY: Oh my God, Lacrecia. This is really happening. This is really finally happening for us. No other player's within 20 miles of you. You got it! You got it.

LACRECIA: Okay. Okay, I think I'm allowing myself to be happy.

TRACEY: [laughing] There you go! There you go! God, I'm crying a little bit.

LACRECIA: I think I'm still in shock too much for that. I'm just happy I could drive straight.

LACRECIA: Okay, I'm about here ...

LACRECIA: ... what the Hell?

LACRECIA: .

LACRECIA: .

TRACEY: What?

LACRECIA: I just turned the corner. People are like running out of the fire station. Some of them are yelling, they're ... pissed off about something.

TRACEY: They're mad?

LACRECIA: Seems like it.

BYSTANDER ONE: IT'S BROKEN! IT'S BROKEN! IT'S GONE!

BYSTANDER TWO: It went right through the roof. Right just, went right through it.

BYSTANDER THREE: Oh my God. Oh my fucking God.

LACRECIA: Tracey, what are they talking about?

BYSTANDER THREE: That should have been impossible. It was protected. I thought they made it protected.

TRACEY: I'm looking ...

BYSTANDER TWO: Can they save it? Keep all the pieces together, maybe they can save it.

BYSTANDER THREE: There's nothing to save. Look for yourself. It's just ... gone. There's nothing left.

LACRECIA: .

LACRECIA: .

LACRECIA: .

LACRECIA: .

LACRECIA: .

TRACEY: .

TRACEY: .

TRACEY: .

TRACEY: Oh no.

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