cw: disordered eating / recovery
when i was a ballet dancer in high school i was consistently undereating and then would occasionally uncontrollably binge. i went through a weird phase around graduation where i became obsessed with basic sheet cake and icing and ate so much in one sitting that i felt ill. before this moment and since this moment i didn’t/don’t like a straight up sugary icing but in that moment it was all that i wanted. thankfully i have a pretty healthy relationship with food and cake now and i’m working on acknowledging that these memories exist without judgment or shame. i was having a very hard time at that time in my life and what i did made sense in context. i’m glad i don’t do it anymore.