when I was a young queer, if a younger guy was dating a guy 20+ years older than themself, it was the young guy who was presumed to be engaging in problematic / predatory behaviour — gold digging, looking for a sugar daddy, and so on.

now I’m an older queer and if a younger guy is dating a guy 20+ years older than themself it’s the older guy presumed to be engaging in problematic / predatory behaviour — though they haven’t invented any catchy names for the phenomenon, probably because there isn’t a catchy way to express the opinion that 30-something-year-olds have underdeveloped brains and are unable to consent to a relationship with 50-something-year-olds.

anyway, what a world, to get a chance to be considered “problematic” in both sides of the same relationship dynamic, 25 years apart