"Hmm, I'm sorry to tell you this, Mr Tibbits, but these nuggets you've dug out of your claim are worthless. This one is a mineral we call 'Fool's Gold'. This one here we refer to as 'Total Idiot's Gold', and this one is 'Absolute Shithead's Silver.' The last one is 'Fuckwad's Ore'. Yes, it's a shame. Better luck next time."