Trying to break into The New Yorker

nonbinary-agender, trans, 26, autistic, homo
potter for hire and for fun
t4t with @tati
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Trying to break into The New Yorker
my roommate and i used to always say this in college as a greeting when we walked in our bedroom
Boy, applying the "universal New Yorker caption" to this one sure takes a turn for the literal. 
But what if the caption read, "Please no meat touching, ma'am" ?