I make videos & work to preserve video games.
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Hey folks. Been a quiet month on the channel, but it has not been elsewhere. It's time for a big announcement.

I'm Going Full(ish) Time Again*

As of this week, I am down to one day a week at my day job. I will be going in once a week to do repairs and battery replacements, as well as doing graphic design & occasional events, but no more retail point-of-sale shifts.

This was my decision, and not one I made lightly. Truth told, I am not making enough money there to justify the amount of time, energy and spoons I give it in return. I think- no, I know that I would be far happier if I could dedicate the same amount of those three things to my own pursuits instead, and when it's paying so little that I'm barely afloat, I don't see a point in continuing to put equally if not more lucrative personal ventures on the backburner.

That isn't to say this is a safe bet or anything... but fuck it. I'm giving it a shot and we'll see where it goes.


No matter what, I am going to survive. I won't starve or be homeless. If I have to go back down the line or pick up a part time or drive Uber or whatever, I will.

But if there's one thing this year has taught me, there are few feelings worse than spending months without finishing any creative projects. I was never happier with the channel, or more consistent and punctual with its uploads, than before I picked up the post-Covid dayjob.

So I'm gonna try it again and fight tooth and nail to make it stick.

"So uh... do you have a plan?"

Yes! Sorta... As much as someone living paycheck-to-paycheck can make a plan to rely entirely on algorithmic ad revenue & the generosity of strangers.

Working retail, it is really easy to succumb to the loop of rolling out of bed 15 minutes before you have to leave for work, coming home, getting stoned and playing video games until the wee hours.

I'm exaggerating a little, I still work on tons of creative projects and hobbies, but it's not that far from the truth. It's hard to structure your life to be productive on your own time when you're always exhausted from service work.

Basically, I need to start structuring my life better. I am very aware that structuring your life like a corporate docket is a great way to make you hate your work, so I'm not going to make myself a blocked-off daily schedule. But certainly, to-do lists, self-imposed rules, Pomodoro timers and stuff like that are going to come in clutch. I've already experienced a bit of success with these lately, and I think scaled up to 6 days a week, I'll be able to balance my life much better; creatively, personally, financially, you name it.

Let's run through some departments where you'll notice the most immediate change.

Livestreaming

First, Twitch streams will now be on a fixed twice-weekly schedule. I'll be streaming Sunday and Wednesday afternoons into the evening. I'll be scheduling these at least a week in advance. This isn't to say there won't be ever be more than two streams a week, or that they won't ever shift around. This is just a schedule I think I can keep, so I'm gonna trial it and see how it goes.

I'm playing around with the idea of offering a Patron-choice game stream biweekly, most likely on Sunday. I'd also like to host stuff like Halo customs, Forza lobbies, etc. and let anyone join, with Patrons given priority/'reserved slots'

I am also going to be trialing two-course streams; a one-off 'main attraction' like NASCAR Arcade Rush, the CS clones stream, or just generally interesting/new/weird things that probably won't justify a second part, followed by a chiller section where I play through larger games over the course of multiple streams.

Mass Effect 2 will be the guinea pig for this; the idea is we get the crazy fun weird stuff out of the way while I'm energetic out the gate, and when both I and chat settle down a bit, we move on to a cozy, let's-play style segment. Lower spoons, lurker friendly, and a great way to make content for games that I don't necessarily want to produce videos for.

.Not every stream will be a double-header; Multiplayer and Co-op streams will likely be their own things. But my longer playthroughs can always serve as good backup plans for those, too!

This is probably a good time to mention that I've changed my Twitch handle to @Kaceydotme.

Rollerdrome Stream Poster

This Wednesday the 29th, I'll be streaming Rollerdrome, my 2022 Game of the Year, to celebrate and support its addition to Xbox Game Pass. Time and spoons permitting, I'll be continuing my Mass Effect 2 Insanity run later in the evening.

This Sunday, December 3rd, I'll be streaming Halo 3 Legendary co-op with my friend traumag0tch1.

Full schedule including rough start times can be found on my Twitch page. I also post graphics like the one above on Twitter, Cohost and in my Discord server ahead of the stream.

YouTube

This is probably the hardest thing to "revamp" because I can't effectively make changes until I finish the 5-month project I'm sitting on.

The Battlefield: A Disappearing Legacy video has undergone a big rewrite, trim and re-recording after peer feedback. It will now be in the ballpark of 35-40 minutes instead of over an hour, but trust me. It's better for it. I am head-down on editing that this week and ideally will have it out before the first before my "later this year" lines are definitely past their expiration dates.

After that? I'm not putting anything in stone. I don't want to box myself into this whole "huge five month project" trap ever again, so I'm going to do what I feel I do best and just...

MAKE SHIT WITH RECKLESS ABANDON.

I don't know for sure what this will be but I'm going to continue experimenting. I've got my hands in a lot of different cookie jars right now in terms of hobbies and interests, and I think with the right approach, I could make any of them interesting content that doesn't depart from my brand.

Your (polite and constructive) feedback is always welcome in the comments or wherever you may have access to me. Let me know what you think works and what doesn't!

Mods and Development

On a personal level, 2023 has been a year of telling myself I can do shit and just doing it. I won't give that whole spiel (again) but some of the things I've just done include contributing to homebrew scenes, modding Xbox 360s (tough soldering job!) and beginning to learn C++.

I'm in talks with my first non-F&F customer and if things go well, I really want to start offering 360 mod installs as a service. There are only a few reputable people in the game these days, and while I don't feel my work is anywhere near their level yet, I can offer more affordable prices while getting experience, honing my skills, and maybe making a little bit of money.

I am currently on a mission to gift modded Xbox 360s to as many of my close friends as I can. There are twenty Xbox 360s in our spare room right now, I've just invested a little cash into a fume extractor so I don't get cancer, as well as a new solder station that doesn't deserve a Playmobil logo. Thanks to a number of friends, I've gotten most of the 360-specific hardware I need for free, in exchange for a pro-bono mod.

As with all my escapades, my ultimate goal is to Do Good. I want to help people enjoy the hobbies that mean so much to me. That means streams and videos of course, but it also means at-cost mods for friends. It means plans to write a remote input plugin that enables people to play XBLA games together over Parsec. It means using my technical writing skills to provide documentation for homebrew projects, multiplayer revivals/communities and just niche topics I know shit about.

As someone who deeply cares about games preservation and wants to contribute, I think this is my calling. I'm sure it'll seep its way into the channel and such, but if you want to keep up with day-to-day tinkering bullshit, follow me on Cohost.

"...you alright?"

:^)

for some value of alright, yea. shit'll be fine. things aren't always ideal, i got problems, but i'm fine. i feel like an Actual Adult and mostly in good ways. for the first time in my life, i'm happy with who and what i am.

but there's a challenge on the horizon, one with no clear solution. its gonna be hard. but i don't want people to think that nothing is changed or that shit still sucks all that much. it doesn't. i have hope.

so i'm gonna level.

about everything. the story of how i got here.

am i oversharing? maybe. i don't fucking care. it's me. it's inextricably part of me. and i think it would be freeing for this to stop feeling like a shameful secret. maybe then i can work towards moving past it and growing in ways i've not yet been able to.

when my channel first started growing, in 2018, i was in college for media production & film. i wanted to edit movies. i was supposed to graduate in the fall of 2020. two credit hours and an internship left. that was it.

but in 2019, things got complicated. a relative of mine made very bad decisions and got themselves in trouble with the law. it was unforeseeable and reflected no wrongdoing on my part. i did not benefit from the money they allegedly stole. i'm still not sure it even exists.

the title to my last car is currently in the possession of the FBI. alas.

covid hit. the university of north florida laid off nearly all student employees. my position was affected. I was told that the budget to pay all of us for the entire semester was literally sitting in a account specifically for that, but that the board had decided to just let us go instead.

they drove home in their porsches while I went into predatory loan debt just to eat while the state of florida took weeks or months to put us on covid unemployment. fuckers.

i continued living on campus and attending class over zoom through the fall semester. but disaster struck.

i was selected for a financial aid audit, which brought to light the situation with my alleged tax criminal relative. UNF promptly canceled two semesters' worth ($11,000) of student loans nearly six months after they'd been disbursed. i'd already spent the money on tuition, pre-paid housing, a laptop, and living expenses.

i had to leave the apartment I'd been living in for nearly three years as I was suddenly seven months behind on rent. i hastily moved in with my girlfriend at the time, a move that i think set us on a path for an unhealthy codependent relationship.

then 2022. the breakup needed to happen. it needed to happen to me. i am leaving it at that.

the condo was in her name. we'd just moved six weeks prior. i couldn't afford another place. i lived six months in the spare bedroom of an apartment i was not wanted in, completely alone. i slept on an air mattress with a leak for half of that.

that was rock bottom.

i felt like i was dying. i went to the doctor four times thinking i had everything from a blood clot to diabetes. of course, it was just stress. i couldn't figure out what to do. my credit sucks from the school debt issue, so even places i could feasibly afford turned me away. i barely knew anyone in town. there was nowhere for me to go. i almost moved back with my parents back in lakeland before some near-strangers who are now some of my best friends on earth took me in.

and that brings us to 2023. things are fine.

my house isn't perfect, i live paycheck to paycheck, i've not had phone service for four months... but i've explored my identity and self in more ways than i ever thought possible and i like what i found. i've met so many people who i can't imagine my life without. i learned more about autism and how my brain works by meeting and loving other autistic people. life is good. it's corny but i feel like i'm in love with the world.

but of course there's an asterisk.

the folks that own the house we live in decided they wanna sell it. not sure on timeline but if the new owners don't want to keep renting it (or wanna jack up the currently very cheap rent) we're all just. gonna have to leave.

thankfully i have a couple of contingencies. i won't be homeless, and i won't end up in my parents' spare room.

longwinded way of saying "i might have to move and i'm a bit stressed", huh?
whatever, i don't care. feels good to put it out there. i'm not a robot.

<3 K


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in reply to @kaceydotme's post:

Really glad all the disasters for the past years haven't taken you down, I'll always uproot for you as well! Always take your time and I'll be happy for whatever you feel happy and lessens your stress (●´◡`●)