kata 🌊 aqua!

it is either an A or an S tier and i am having the most trouble deciding as a result of how unique the ride is

the queue is fantastic. it does a phenomenal job of selling itself as an edutainment space established by a fictional planet. the conceit of creating a “Wonders of Xandar Pavilion” at EPCOT to teach “Terrans” about interplanetary allies lands so well, and actually does the work of making the attraction feel like it belongs at the park, which i expected to be the weak point here.

the transition to it being a “marvel/guardians of the galaxy” attraction doesn’t really happen until the end of the pre-show. up until that point, it very much sticks with the idea of pure fictional edutainment, which makes the “surprise twist” that you’re going to go off and save the galaxy with the guardians land better than it would have otherwise.

as a guardians of the galaxy attraction it’s pretty much all an MCU diehard could ask for. great little nods at the whole universe, a thrilling tribute to the first Guardians film, and loads of cool touches that greatly expand on the MCU Nova Corps lore in ways that are pretty exciting if you’re a Nova fan.

and then there’s the actual roller coaster. vekoma’s “storycoaster” concept works alright. the controlled spin is pretty neat, particularly in how it helps hide other ride vehicles (“Starjumpers”) from view once you’re in the show building. it’s a family roller coaster, not too boring not too thrilling, and the elevator pitch i would give people is very much “space mountain 2”. it’s a thrilling roller coaster-type ride in the dark with some cool screens and set pieces and some decent forces, with some moments even delivering forces that are adjacent to floater air. it is not the best vekoma i’ve been on nor is it even the best vekoma at disney world, but it’s fun, and certainly does a great job of fleshing out epcot’s ride portfolio. it fits right in—less thrilling than its world discovery neighbors, but still definitely “scary and fun” enough to feel like a thrill ride.

the big thing for me is like… i know the ways in which this could have gotten an easier S, and they’re mostly about set pieces. you look at Velocicoaster just a few minutes down the road at Islands of Adventure and you get the whole package that Guardians offers—a fantastic and innovative roller coaster, an immersive queue, Chris Pratt. but velocicoaster has animatronics and a practical outdoor set. guardians has… screens and stars.

and don’t get me wrong! i like screens and stars! the screens are pretty great and the star field effect in the building is actually better than either of the US space mountains! the music adds a ton here too—we got “Conga” by Gloria Estefan—and if you’re a Guardians fan, hey, they’re all here!! rocket raccoon and groot are here and they’re my favorites!! the pre-show also has a particularly compelling practical effect that really does a lot for the whole experience.

but why doesn’t this thing have a single animatronic? without getting into “spoiler” territory, there is what drax calls a “very large man” in this ride that would have been easy animatronic fodder. just give me an animatronic of his hand or something!! you look at the other Guardians of the Galaxy attraction in california and there’s just a wonderful animatronic of rocket raccoon hanging out with you in the queue. just one robot would have done a lot for this ride.

and that’s why it’s hard to grade. at any other park this thing would be an S, but it’s at EPCOT, and it’s down the street from Velocicoaster. to grade it lower as a result of its potential should Chapek have allowed Zach Ridley and team to spend more money is… probably fair, but complicated.

anyway. it’s fun. go to EPCOT and ride this if you like marvel shit. as a marvel shit aficionado i promise you won’t be disappointed, even if you end up walking away wishing for a version that had a bigger budget.