Kameron

This week has been kind of weird and crazy. On the one hand, I have gained a LOT of extra free time so I can start enjoying life again and figure out new hobbies. I've been picking up German again because I have time and I've had friends on Twitter wanting me to get back into German again.

Funny thing about German, as I get back into it, it feels like I've never seen this language before (since it's been like seven years) and at the same time, something I just know intuitively (since I did complete the old Duolingo course back then). And now, I'm finding myself using German when talking to myself if I know the vocab and stuff. I like that. I kind of missed that.

I do want to start making hot sauce. I saw my friend, Pint, doing homebrewing and I find that fascinating, but I'm not much of a beer drinker, but I figured, I LOVE HOT SAUCE, why not make my own? Finally ordered some condiment bottles so I'll be getting some ingredients at the store for making some hot sauce. Piccies incoming most likely tomorrow. :D

Another thing is, of course, the job hunt. Since quitting my old job due to that panic attack and my mental health, I've been kind of discouraged lately. My job hunt has been kind of less than fruitful so far. Of course, been on Indeed and other job sites, buzzing through and sending out applications. I've had a few fake jobs, a few sales jobs, one WFH job that seems to be one of those micro-managing places, one warehouse job that they didn't call me back after the interviews....one more interview that I couldn't go to due to a lack of car (and them being ALL the way across Orlando) and yeah...I was feeling really depressed over it. Right now, I do have a job interview for a custodian position at a private school. It's not anything for my degree...but it would be a paycheck...and it'd be good for now due to something that requires a 2nd post all it's own.

WOOF!

Okay, I know I love spicy food. I love cooking.

And I finally left that increasingly toxic job.

And now I have a bizarre amount of free time, and a decent amount of money saved up to tide me over while I look for a better job elsewhere.

Silly question. Should a spottyfox try making his own hot sauce? I'm watching videos on how to do it and it seems simple enough, and I'm coming up with potential flavor combos to try and stuff.

So, should I try making my own hot sauce? Should I post piccies if I do this?

I do have an idea for a habanero pineapple garlic kind of sauce floating in my head right now. >.>

🙃

For those who know me and know the work I do, you know how horrible that job has been for my mental health.

It's kinda weird. Started out decent enough. But now? 5 1/2 years later? We're at a point where the slow descent into madness due to all the good parts of that job being taken away and replaced with abject bullshit has reached a breaking point.

So last Thursday, I had a panic attack. I had a damn panic attack and I put in my two weeks..

It was going to be coming anyway. I mean my Dadfops actually helped craft a letter of resignation as a sort of graduation present for me....but that night, I had at least enough clarity to know "if this job causes me panic attacks, that's enough...I don't want to have a feeling of where I don't know if I'm going to die or that I want to die...and that just be an accepted part of working there.

So I put in my two weeks. And these two weeks have been absolutely incompetence on steroids. No one else doing their job. Manager absent/willfully choosing to not do his job. Shit piling up. I can't even take my normal lunch break without shit breaking....seriously. I haven't had a lunch break except for like twice in a month.

And tomorrow, Sunday...my last Sunday there....I'm already looking at a 100+ ticket queue and I'm the only one working....because willful incompetence.

So when Thursday at 8pm finally hits...and I clock out for the last time. Holy shit that feeling will be goddamn glorious. If I do it at the office, getting that Uber home and realizing I don't ever have to go back. Ever. Again. Ever. I just....that will be a magical feeling.

And maybe, maybe I can heal mentally/emotionally from this place. Maybe I can be a lot less angry now that I don't have this place weighing over me.

And maybe I can get a better job. Been looking at least.

Woof...sorry for the stream of consciousness there.