I know it's not exactly a controversial statement, but queer folk should be treated with a lot more patience given how varied our backgrounds are
For instance, those of us who grew up in or around progressive metro areas tend to take them for granted, they don't think about all the unwritten rules and obstacles that come with socially navigating their spaces--because they probably haven't had to, since they learned them all ages ago and got used to never having to correct their friends
I didn't move to Seattle until 26, and I was in a red state that had neo-nazis openly participating in furry scenes in Anchorage for most of my 20's, in a dead end hospital clerk job that was also full of racists and homophobes that enjoyed having a 2-for-1 harassment target
Like yes, I was 26 when a lot of locals met me, that's a reasonable age to expect someone to have most of their shit together
but how much "metro social etiquette for conflict-avoidant city folk" do you suppose I was able to learn in my previous environment, where I was more focused on avoiding de-jure oppression in a white, straight, old, disconnected world, or learning how to cope with receiving it and being completely unprotected by others and unable to fight back
it took a lot of violence to become this gentle etc