kezia

floating eyeball black mage

  • they/them

i make video games!! currently developing @revertices!!

my last two braincells ate each other

wayne hylics is so gendermy personality is liking yume nikkicapcom make narumitsu canon you cowards

I think a lot of solo game development is just... pushing through feelings of discomfort. When I sit down and work on the thing it tends to go smoothly- which makes sense considering I do this for a living. I just have so many feelings of inadequacy and dealing with the jarring effect of the sole responsibility of this project falling onto me.

My gut reaction during these feelings of discomfort is to work myself more. I keep thinking that I'm not getting enough done so I must go work on it in this very moment. Even if I'm exhausted and I know I won't be productive at all. I've always had issues pulling myself away from my work. Mainly because so much of my self worth is tied to it. I don't know how to separate it.

I have to remind myself that it's okay for things to take a bit longer if it means not burning myself out again. I really don't think I ever truly recovered from burnout in the games industry. I'm not sure if I ever will.


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in reply to @kezia's post:

^This is something we're definitely strugglling with lately too, though not in a professional sense

Andy has been working on this project on and off for over five years now, but towards the back half of last year we started picking up a lot of steam on it, and we decided we wanted to make this the year we get something out there

But we're still working retail, and barely making enough to get by. So what little "free time" we have has been dedicated to our project and it has felt impossible to focus on anything else. It's definitely become unhealthy and we should really allow ourselves time to detach and relax... I really don't want us to crash and burn out on this.

❤️❤️❤️ It's really hard! Making a game is truly a full time job and I find so many people have run into this problem where there just isn't enough time and energy after work/other life responsibilities. Definitely take care of yourselves first but I really get the frustration.