Nick

This was originally written during the month of June but some technical issues with printing delayed a lot of the merch until now, sorry.

I got asked a few times while working on the promo image what 'knife month' meant or why it came to be and the truth is I kind of don't remember? I think it started as some meme image or whatever. I think the thing is that I just hate 'pride month'. (Lower your pitchforks, please, I'm going somewhere with this.)

There's a reason we have an entire month to celebrate who we are and why we exist and all the things that make us great and be more vocal about all the things that make our lives difficult. I just hate the actual necessity of it. Why is Pride Month the only time we're given way more of a platform not just to speak about the issues we face but, just, a platform at all? Why do we need a block of time scheduled for us so we can be seen as equals only to be thanked at the end with a "See you next year!" vibe that forces us back into the shadows again. Do you not understand that the actual only major problem we face is that we're not normalized? It's the root of the entire problem. We're not normal to some people. So we have laws and prejudices and societal structures in place to arbitrarily or literally segregate us. "Pride Month" increasingly feels like a prison. I'm tired of having a month where people pat me on the back and say "hey whatever you're doing over there, good on you. I hope nobody gets in your way." But anytime we have to reach out to those people and say "You need to tell his homophobe you talk to to shut the fuck up and maybe cut ties with them because you giving them space is indirect acceptance for their behavior" we're told shit like ahhh it's none of my business really or i don't know i don't want to start a fight

I'm so tired, man. A lot of fatigue is the byproduct of corporate pride shit I'm tired of seeing it I'm tired of people thinking it's good. You know what's good? Actual diversity. Just fucking hire more queer people and fire more intolerant people, you fuckups.

It's a scene I follow closely so I'm sorry for the specific niche of complaint here but: There was a lot of bullshit around an Apex Legends pro player who (bizarrely) chose to out himself as a gigantic piece of shit and ordinarily I'd just be like yeah ok good luck with your career buddy but the guy has two million followers on Twitter and streams to an audience of tens of thousands. He's the captain of a very visible and competitive team in the scene. And when he took to Twitter to be like yeah I don't think queers should be near kids and also I think teaching them about being gay or trans is brainwashing like... man. You know what sucked? Seeing that. You know what sucked infinitely harder? Seeing almost everyone in that scene say absolutely nothing because it would create friction between other players/orgs/sponsors. This guy is openly saying a bunch of hateful shit that affects our ability to live and to exist peacefully and you're so scared of losing a dollar that you'd just willingly let that shit through? Do you know how we lose money? If we fucking die one day because one of these radicalized bastards decide we've poisoned this planet long enough. The people who are quiet hurt so much more. If you feel bad reading this, like you feel targeted by this, I promise you it pales in comparison to the feeling we feel every time you stay quiet. To say it's gut-wrenching doesn't even come close.

So I don't know. It's hard not to be angry about it. I take it out on knife month. The knives are the anger on all ends of the spectrum and I would rather be angry about my issues that I still have to face and probably will for the rest of my life than take comfort in the yearly month-long padded cell that society has deigned fit for me.