Lapis the Nevrean

@lapisnev

Don't squeeze me, I fart

she/her
dinobird.website/

Things that make you go 🤌. Weird computer stuff. Artist and general creative type. Occasionally funny. Gentoo on main. I play rhythm games!

You can post SVG files like photos on this website! Spread the word!

Lapis the Nevrean @lapisnev3/4/2023, 3:10 PM

Marin @natatorialremnants

UnregisteredHyperCadence @UnregisteredHyperCadence2/28/2023, 9:19 PM

venting about ADHD hopefully in a way Normal Ass People can understand

this is gonna be a little bit incoherent, as it's just to illustrate the General Vibes to people who do not deal with This Fresh Hell™, brought to you by BrainCorp™, all in the readmore 'cuz this shit looooong

David Smith @Catfish-Man3/4/2023, 10:22 AM

One of the major reasons I’m so eager to help people in my life with tasks is because I can’t really start them on my own. Everything I do at all consistently without another person involved is one of:

rechecked constantly out of paranoia (my last med refill got done after at LEAST 10 checks of whether it was refillable yet, despite it listing the refill date)
the result of deep effort and yet still not very reliable
something I’ve allowed myself to get (mildly hopefully) psychologically addicted to, such as checking social media. This leads to things like navigating to the website I’m already on because going there wasn’t a conscious action. I’ve managed to shoehorn checking my “recently updated bugs I’m interested in, sort by date” feed at work into this slot, which is a life saver

Times that actually exist to do things in are “now” and “probably never”. “Later” is a fake concept created to entrap the unwary.

#adhd

Irenes (many)@ireneista3/4/2023, 10:39 AM

very good posts

we wholeheartedly approve

our own strategy for this stuff mostly centers around structuring our life - living space, daily routine, etc - in such a way as to create serendipitous discoveries that bump us in helpful directions. oh! the pill bottle is on the table, must be time to call in refills. oh! it's work time now, obsessively check the calendar every five minutes all day. oh! the cats are extremely affectionate, must be time to feed them. that sort of thing.

Marin @natatorialremnants3/4/2023, 2:55 PM

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in reply to @UnregisteredHyperCadence's post:

Inertia @inertia2/28/2023, 10:05 PM

You know, whenever I read/hear about someone's experiences with ADHD, I think "Holy shit I have ADHD, don't I?"

I then proceed to do nothing with that realization.

🌊@wave3/4/2023, 8:51 AM

username checks out

(sorry, couldn't resist. :P and yeah, i don't do much about it either.)

Inertia @inertia3/4/2023, 7:40 PM

No, yeah, that's exactly where the name came from.

Not ADHD specifically, but life in general.

David Smith @Catfish-Man3/4/2023, 10:25 AM

Would you be interested in a possible bootstrapping technique for this?

Inertia @inertia3/4/2023, 7:40 PM

Heck yeah!

David Smith @Catfish-Man3/4/2023, 7:55 PM

If you already have functioning healthcare in general, a bunch of caffeine may be able to give you enough of a short term boost to ask a friend to sit next to you and make sure you call to make an appointment for an adhd screening. If, like most of us, you also have phone anxiety, you can force the issue by asking them to call and then hand the phone to you.

Inertia @inertia3/4/2023, 8:38 PM

laughs in uninsured American

Thanks for the advice. Not sure I can make it work, but it sounds like a good plan.

How dare you call me out on phone anxiety. Is that an ADHD thing, too?

David Smith @Catfish-Man3/4/2023, 8:39 PM

Either adhd or autism or both, I have no idea which bits come from where

Inertia @inertia3/4/2023, 9:47 PM

Ah, okay.

gwen @gwenverbsnouns3/4/2023, 4:21 PM

looking all the sticky notes and reminders on my monitor and wall, all of which I'd forgotten existed until this moment

in reply to @ireneista's post:

jo @adragonesscalledjo3/4/2023, 1:32 PM

Huh.

I am very familiar with alert fatigue. I'd never connected that to why systems to keep myself pretending to be functional break down so quickly as I try and load "normal person life" into them.

Irenes (many)@ireneista3/4/2023, 8:14 PM

right? it's really important to understand what's going on in this breakdown. we take an engineering attitude to our brain-related problems, because that's the only approach that has gotten results. alert fatigue is a constraint. feelings we have about activities are constraints. memory issues are constraints. we enumerate all the constraints and then we find solutions that satisfy them. nobody who doesn't share the issues - some of which, like the traumas, are incredibly specific to us - is ever likely to have useful suggestions, because they don't really understand the constraints. however, any problem is solvable with sufficient understanding.

Lapis the Nevrean @lapisnev3/4/2023, 3:25 PM

I can't even tell if it's possible ADHD anymore because I am already well past trying these reminder systems, I simply stumble along on autopilot and feel like shit about how unproductive I am. It's like my body is refusing to do anything while my mind is fully aware of what I'm supposed to be doing and I'm shidding and crying begging myself to start and I've been procrastinating 15 minute work tasks for months now

Kit @kitkat3/5/2023, 5:19 PM

I ended up sacrificing a substantial percentage of my freezer space so that, even when I forget about the compost, it won't be rotting

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