i think anise's ambiguous eating problems are probably directly related to my output this year
basically every couple hours i have a cat show up and plant himself on my desk so that i can't reach the left side of my keyboard, which he knows is where all the good keys are. so i will get his food for him, and he will eat it on my desk, in that same spot. sometimes he will fuss about it and i will have to coax him, or the other cats will circle like vultures and i will have to shoo them. regardless this can be like a 20 minute affair during which all i can do is maybe a squaredle. or sometimes there will be a completely different interruption by which i mean he just stepped in his own diarrhea and now would like to track it everywhere and growl at me when i try to clean him up
and this feels unending. it feels like my life is only what i can squeeze in between anise being hungry every couple hours. because my adhd is kind of bad so it's a coin flip whether this completely resets me back to as if i just woke up and i have no idea what i want to do for the day yet. and creative work in particular is just Hard so i slide off of it extra easily. and certain kinds of interruptions in particular can rather sour the kind of mood required for writing emotional sex scenes.
also i've just been worried about him in general and i guess i get a little bit neurotic when something is going wrong and i don't know why or what exactly to do about it. like my spouse just specifically told me i've been neurotic. but i don't know how to debug my cat
i don't know what to do about this. i think he's finally starting to regain some weight at least. hopefully when he's back to regular cat size he won't need to eat like six or eight times a day