specifically i figured out that i really do not like people being mad at me for reasons i cannot make sense of
scolding is a form of enforcing some kind of social contract, right, but if the implied contract is either incoherent or something i am in fact already doing, then well i just want to scream and/or throw the speaker into a volcano. it is uniquely agonizing
so if, say, a handful of people conclude "wow i guess eevee just hates accessibility" in the middle of my string of posts about the preposterous amount of effort i'm putting into customizable controls for a video game, or brush off my executive dysfunction in the middle of a disability conversation, orrrrr call me aggressive when i say thoughts and self-pitying when i say feelings,
i have a bad time
and this, broadly, has really been a running theme over the last five years. but hopefully it helps to recognize it is a thing that impacts me. only took a week and a half of the same few people cycling through my head before i caught onto the pattern