- "Habits are the only thing that keep me alive and vaguely on the same continent as functional" vs "I have never managed to form a habit on purpose in my entire life"
- "Podcasts/audiobooks are the best invention since wheels and have massively improved my meals/commutes/chores/insert activity here where the main activity holds way less than 100% of my attention" vs "Podcasts/audiobooks are a torture machine that I enjoy slightly less than being waterboarded mid dentist visit"
- "Cancelling plans is a higher high than drugs or sex" vs "I spent 60 times as long as this scheduled hangout will take realigning my entire concept of existence to make room for it, at immense internal cost, and if we cancel it's going to take me 4 months to recover"
Further excellent additions by:

