𝚕𝚒𝚕𝚛𝚊𝚠𝚔

The cat on my lap helps, im so glad she can't read, doesn't have to think about the world. Her world is so small, serene. Im just so frustrated and tired and stressed.

Thank you for your support over the years!

I made it almost six years ago, in fact! But hang on, let’s get the details down in a new post.

In 2008, writer Warren Ellis made a brief blog post about how Valentine’s Day was a bad Christian remix of roman fertility festival Lupercalia

Happy Valentine’s Day to all. And to those who hate the day, I say this: Valentine’s Day is a Christian corruption of a pagan festival involving werewolves, blood and fucking. So wish people a happy Horny Werewolf Day and see what happens.

I liked this concept when I learned about it, so I made web browser extensions for Chrome and Firefox that traverse the text of every web page you visit, searching for variations of the phrase “Valentine’s Day”, and turns them into “Horny Werewolf Day”. You can install them here:

• “Valentines For Werewolves” for Google Chrome

• “Valentines For Werewolves” for Firefox

People install it, laugh for a while in February, then forget about it, and then one day in August they see something that makes them go “???!!???” and then “oh yeah lmao” and that’s the best. Whenever someone shows me a screenshot of some benign web site that says “Horny Werewolf Day gifts” or “spoil your special Horny Werewolf with a delicious treat” it brings me more delight than I can fully describe.

Here are some important things to know:

• Right now it only works for sure on desktop versions of Chrome and Firefox. I will make a Safari version soon. Apple has a whole process involving Xcode that I need to commit to figuring out.

• If you install it and you like it and you feel like thanking me, here’s my Ko-fi . Enough support will probably motivate me to figure out how to get the code working on Android versions of Firefox and Chrome.

• It needs access to all of the text on every web page you visit so it can look for text to change, but it does not store or send any of that text anywhere. It is literally 18 lines of Javascript regular expressions and for-loops that never leave your computer.

• If you like werewolves you will probably like the digital anthology I edit, Werewolves Versus. There are 10 issues so far, including one thematically linked to this browser extension: Werewolves Versus: Romance.

I always love seeing screenshots of this extension in action so please hit me up!

• “Valentines For Werewolves” for Google Chrome

• “Valentines For Werewolves” for Firefox