news writer at PC Gamer. older stuff at Polygon, Fanbyte, Waypoint, etc. artist formerly known as an imaginary baseball team. horse conspiracist.
[at the crime scene]
cop a: i swear to christ, he better not
cop b: easy. just let the man do his work
[i stand, all the clues taken in—considered, collated, weighed by the precision scales of deduction. the crime, as it happened, is as clear as day]
me: the killer was eight apples tall—
[groans, audible boos]
hot take, but the booing was deserved, since that's a height of a dwarf iirc
um. this reminds me of a like ten-year-old post about how big the ponies in FiM are lol, is that it?
