lowercase trans lesbian. queen of the stone age. makes (& makes love to) weird music, weird games, and weird women
• avatar by monday
caught in a fair bit of melancholy rather unexpectedly, seeing music sites post up preliminary talks for their end-of-year lists, and knowing that again i will not be on any of them
the plight of the lonely lesbian, seeking validation of the heart and artistic pursuits but earning neither no matter how much she writes hopelessly about wanting
For whatever this is worth from me, your albums this year would absolutely appear on my own year-end, if I were one to compile such a thing. They became a go-to for me to just have on at night, providing a warm comfort to suit really any of my emotional needs, and I'll definitely always be paying attention to your work in the future.
These feelings are absolutely real though. I've only been at this music recording thing for a little over a year now, and of course, my audience and outreach ambitions are pretty small for now, but even then it's hard for me to deny how small the ocean of music makes me feel every time I release something new. To pour yourself into a creative work, making it as true to yourself as best as you know how, only to cast it out into a sea of thousands of other works by other artists that you perceive as better, more accomplished, more authentic, more experienced, more noticeable, etc. For me, it's very easy to perceive "no response" as "bad response", and to beat myself into working even harder to make the next thing good enough to be noticed. Makes it very easy to lose sight of just making music that I think sounds good and being happy enough with that.
Anyways, not trying to make it about me, haha. More so, just want to say that I totally understand this post, and that no matter what may come for you in your future, you can know that you've at least made an impact on my soul this year, as well as inspired me to try new things with my own sound.
