when people claim that we should avoid doing violence to our oppressors, turn the other cheek, etc etc, they betray an attitude where some people are less person than others. they pretend to have an ethical argument, but they don't actually give a shit about the personhood of the oppressors. they only care about keeping the oppressed in our place.
claiming that we should deperson our oppressors completely in order to fight against them is, in my opinion, a shortsided and emotional response to this however. I don't think it's flawed for the reason oppressors claim— I think that, sometimes, fighting oppressors really does take some nuance and caution. There are situations where it's possible to defend your own personhood without causing significant harm to others. But it's undeniable that other times (most times, even) you just have to choose to ignore your empathy and fucking take care of yourself. if being abused has taught me one thing, it's that.
but ignoring your own empathy/sympathy/propensity for kindness is not the same as forgetting it or abandoning it. yes, punch that Nazi, yes, tell that person who called you a faggot on the street to fuck off. disregard your feelings for them while doing it, because you and your people matter more and deserve to live. but recognize there are systems that make violence the most effective solution for these circumstances, and that you're not doing violence just to do violence. Never glorify it. But even so, recognize its necessity.