taste me, as the food and drink Alice found almost said. she was cast unto a stormshorn sunderedsea. you too will fall beneath my waves in time.


profile pic by moiwool (nonbinary color edit by me)

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in reply to @lookatthesky's post:

I have ADHD and I struggle with the “being useful” and “marketing myself as a worker” aspect really hard. I’ve been given a supervisor at work to “help” with those aspects, and despite trying my absolute damnedest it’s really only caused more friction. At this point I’ve given up on fully achieving the unrealistic goals of productivity and punctuality that are being placed upon me and have only been giving the minimum effort on those tasks that they can actually recognize are being done.

Seeing someone else who has tackled this same aspect helps me not feel so alone or that it’s a total “me” problem. But I gotta ask how did you manage to find peace with it?

honestly. I got lucky enough to get into a position where I've been able to mostly rest and rely on others. some people are literally just gonna be left to die instead, especially people in demographics that aren't saturated with high income tech people.

now, to be fair, when I say I've been able to "mostly" rest, there's been a lot of friction between me and the system who took me in when I was at my breaking point. she's been telling me for over a year now I need to work harder, it seems like I'm just not trying, and so on and so on, and I reached another breaking point around that more recently, which is causing me to need to pursue a new living situation— one in which, from the beginning, I'm straightforward with the person taking care of me about the fact that even if I eventually pursue work (which is exceedingly unlikely), it won't be for them, it'll be for me.

so really the only reason I seem like I'm at peace with it is because I'm able to stuff down my frustrations without Immediately Dying is what I'm saying. that's uh, probably not very reassuring to hear, but it is what it is. I'm hoping to help build towards a world that doesn't toss people like us away so readily if I get the opportunities, but we'll see how things go in the next 20 years, I suppose.