the thing that sucks about me testing negative right now is that I'm stuck in the limbo of like, I have to simultaneously keep assuming I do and don't have covid. at once protecting others from me and protecting myself from my roommate. and I've been through this once before, but that time I didn't detect any symptoms; this time I do, but they're mild, and it's still highly ambiguous. I'm honestly constantly going back and forth on whether I have it. And the negative test doesn't help.
like, the last time my roommate got it, she had literally just gotten back from the airport. there was a lot less doubt that my negative tests were valid, to the point where it never really crossed my mind to prepare emotionally and physically for if I had covid. (this may also have had something to do with my general mental state being kind of terrible and all-or-nothing at the time.) This time I have put quite a lot of thought into how to protect my body and not just my friends. Partially because other people have been sending me resources. And it's just... even if I ultimately haven't wound up with covid, this time feels completely different.
