a thing that's frusturating is that we live our lives in first person, experiencing the world as a fluctuating succession of sensory experiences, emotions, thoughts, and senses of selves. it is a complex process of internality that makes us so often feel like we just have no strong sense of identity or self, makes us feel like we have no name, like we could never have "a name". we are so easily tumbled into this sense of self or that sense of self, very different self-conceptualizations, by external stimulii. we are to a large degree the things outside of us.
but this way of existing is seemingly incompatible with online life. online life is lived in the third person. you are shown your messages at all times with a name and a picture next to them. there is a jarring feeling when it doesn't match with how i feel in a moment
at all times online life demands to know:
who are you?
i don't know
i feel bad for all my friends in real life too because i cant provide a satisfactoy way for them to refer to me, they have sympathetic pain with the way i almost wince when a name that was fine days ago but now confuses me is used for me.
