to what extent is it reasonable to expect myself to switch to a delayed gratification/reward schedule (like on the scale of years potentially) for the sake of my goals which will take a substantial amount of work and probably require me to start almost excruciatingly slowly to get a grasp on. I've never had that second-marshmallow kind of drive (I'm aware that that study is bullshit). I'm also known to get very caught up in preconceptions of my capabilities that might be mutable but are highly self reinforcing. i hope I find a way to combat that in some small way soon. adapt my goals as I learn what's reasonable. learn a little at a time. feel accomplished. find balances between complex microcosmic-causality-structures within the world. move forward, ultimately. my desire to garden and to be a garden has only grown as time has gone on ever since I learned about permaculture and native seedbombing. I might need to learn to cope with the fire of recurring urgency and make it last longer, but I will find a way to make it happen.
look at the sky.
taste me, as the food and drink Alice found almost said. she was cast unto a stormshorn sunderedsea. you too will fall beneath my waves in time.
profile pic by moiwool (nonbinary color edit by me)
in reply to @lookatthesky's post:
Idk, for me that's what the meth helps with.
... That is the lysdexamfetamine, aka Vyvanse, and the other variant called Focalin.
I still don't do a great job at it but it lets me have more than zero control of what I focus on. Gets over a few barriers of boredom or other aversions.
pretty reasonable. we did it. part of it is figuring out how to get gratification from all the steps along the way. like turning "working towards something" into a mini goal u can repeat. and then after you've done all the shit you can do without just waiting around awhile, find some other shit to fill the time until its ready to get back to it
look lets be real its a struggle to really get it feeling that way but i can tell ya its possible first-hoof
just uh you know wanting to have this relationship with goals is itself a goal and if yr tryna instant-gratify your goal of not needing instant gratification well thats a good place to start tryna figure out how to feel ok slowing stuff down lmao
anyways what im sayin is we didnt stop having adhd we just hacked our perspective on working on shit to be a more adhd friendly perspective and stopped trying to look at that shit the way ppl taught us to