taste me, as the food and drink Alice found almost said. she was cast unto a stormshorn sunderedsea. you too will fall beneath my waves in time.


profile pic by moiwool (nonbinary color edit by me)


I see people talking a lot about how, like. Our modern world makes it so utterly impractical, nigh impossible, to socialize in person safely, and to engage in any sort of community, that it's not something worth pursuing at all.

I can appreciate that this is the decision that makes the most sense right now. Even for me. I've just moved to a suburb, I'm not exactly going to be building much more of a support system. I also think that acknowledging how online interaction has substantial tradeoffs (which, nonetheless, are worth it in their own ways) can help us be more honest about what our needs are, and how a need is a painting with many shades and vibrances and dark shadowy zones.

As mentioned in the post that inspired this one, online community demands less and offers far less. in my experience, what it demands does not (usually) obtain a [satisfying] yield. even being around someone in person for a few minutes can bloom into a commensalism, a word literally meaning "to sit together at a table" and that has come to mean a relationship with one neutrally-benefiting participant and another positively-benefiting one— challenging the notion of the Parasitic disabled or otherwise underempowered person. challenging the notion of debt and transactional relationship models. Regular contact with such folk might, I imagine, tend to bolster all participants' sense of belonging, purpose, and interconnectivity. Community, human ecology. we even speak in terms of our "niches".

You don't need all this right now, not with the hellscape we live in. But I believe you should keep it in the back of your head, plan for it if you can afford to. One of my biggest goals is to establish a connection with my successors, as my queer euro-american upbringing has left nothing but a few memories and a single recipe for me to inherit. I seek goals that are robust and long-lasting. I am optimistic— to some people's eyes, perhaps to a fault. I intentionally cultivate this best I can. Try to cultivate lasting relationships, both online and offline (though nearly all of my relationships queer this distinction).

The world is not going to end. Offline, persistent community is not ending. Some of us will seek it and for others it will seek us instead. Things will get worse. Things will get a little more tolerable. Take a break, certainly. But be ready to find yourself in a community when you feel the time is right. Biding your time and saving your energy is often a great strength.


You must log in to comment.