btw, if we're choosing to infodump to you, it's because we like you and think you're cool
we could choose to infodump to anyone, and we've tried that before actually on a dating app (that we forgot about Again... oops aaa). some ppl just aren't as fun to infodump to for some reason and its really hard to articulate why, it feels like they dont understand quite as well. even if your responses to our infodumping dont have full understanding, there's a certain resonating enthusiasm we can often see in how you respond.
we have been becoming fond of autistics who struggle to talk about what they love, but who possess that connection still. they're not talked about as much as the autistics like me who had interests like math that were encouraged by my family and who talk and talk and talk. i don't think it's necessarily the case that healing from that trauma means a return to an essential self. i think it can also mean, and may more often mean, accepting that the trauma changed you and that the scar is your skin now. it hurt, it hurt like hell. your skin there is rough now. that doesn't stop you from being vulnerable or being loved. maybe it still hurts. it's your body. it's you. a semblance of what you may have been without it might still exist, but you don't have to paint over it with that. you can love your scars