i put the kickstand on my benz as i step out the car door. "bright eyed and bushy tailed, just as i knew you'd be" says the man sitting against his own benz. a barb afforded to him by my bleary-eyed and tailless state on account of it's about 3:55 in the fuckin morning. if we ever go to court for this shit some might say he's lucky i wore pants alls im sayin. he's got some pants on. tapered slacks, beige. matches his jacket his shirt and his holster. beauty of a pistol sits in there. gun's not tan but it's got I ABSOLVE THEE written on the barrel so trust me he's still compensating wherever you look. doesn't even have his kickstand on his benz. "ooo-wee i got a benz that doesn't roll" he's sayin. "i dont know what the garbagemen look like" he's sayin. i cannot express to you how much this walking strip mall handjob gets to me. but as long as the notorious art thief shen de luca roams the streets this custom dunkin donuts order jerkoff's my partner. speakin of:
"how far?" i ask him
"no hug?" he responds.
"we put this guy away, i'll fuckin marry you and consummate it in front of his cell. how far?"
"heh. i'm gonna say a number and you guess the direction."
"shoot."
"twenty thousand."
"you're fucking joking."
"you didn't guess."
"(i point straight down)"
"heyyyyy center gets the square!"
"how the fuck is shen de luca 20,000 leagues under the sea."
"(tan gives me dossier) you ever heard of gamecube harry potter?"
"that guy who got his head z-fought to shit by Gots The Style in manderlay bay a couple months back?"
"he's been in the hospital this whole time. but i guess he's lookin' for some alternative cashflow since his career in MnM is kaput"
"shen gets him out of that snafu at customs with that exotic pet fiasco..."
"...and gamecube gives him a spell to breathe underwater."
"clean deal."
"i'd take it."
"so we gonna bust this guy's ass?"
"expecto fuckin patronum"
NIGHTJAM
