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i forgot to respond to this last AMA but what i meant to say was: i learned to embrace being a poser
Anonymous User asked: I've consistently admired your commitment to sharing / posting so much of what you make! It's always inspiring to see you posting your stuff, big and small, in such a bold (to me!) way. I haven't figured out how to be like that.
Was there a time when you were too timid or afraid to post your work? What changed?
for the most part, i am also just much more shameless than most people, particularly in terms of ambition. i experienced intense shame in the form of guilt & social anxiety in casual situation, but (as an artifact of the way i was raised, in an often negative way) i have absolutely no shame pitching myself & my work to people. i have sent some absolutely wild cold-DMs, and some of my biggest appearances & opportunities have come from doing that.
*that said: getting started in the first place is a different task than that. and that, 100%, was about learning to be a poser.
this came up a lot in early transition for me, where i wanted to try on all these different aesthetics & lifestyles now that they felt accessible to me in a way that felt like it even could feel good! but i'm like...hey, i'm not that thing! and as i began to dip my toe into being that thing, i realized...everyone, at some point, was being a "poser" at that thing...it's how you become that thing! you have to do it to be someone who does it!
so, my general framework is: do things, be excited about doing them, talk about them, be proud of them, talk about being prouder of them than you're even sure you are! it's the first step towards actually being proud of them and feeling secure in them. sometimes you just gotta practice that muscle!