Mech Pilot who found something bigger, faster, and more slobbery to work with.
Mason would readily admit that he was a bit stiff. A stickler. A rules type. Forming pacts with Mars and the Emperor would do that to you, after all.
How he fell in love with this chaotic himbo was beyond him.
"Porter, would you mind telling me what this is?" he asked, gesturing at the non-euclidean pile of black tentacles, eyes, and mouths that was drooling on the living room carpet.
"It's my new familiar!" Porter replied, grinning. Mason could only sigh.
"You have thirty seconds to explain why it's here and ruining the carpet before I walk out that door."
"Aw, come on babe, Zuggondi's nice! I'm sure you'll warm up to zir. Watch: Zuggondi, fetch my bath towel."
The writhing mass blinked out of existence, before promptly re-occupying zir spot on the floor with a slobber-soaked bath towel to blithely deliver to zir himbo commander. "Thank you Zuggondi. Here babe, catch."
"Augh, what— wait, it's dry?"
"Yeah! Zir 'drool' is actually a warping of three-dimensional space caused by fifth-dimensional radiation from zir mouths; totally clean & harmless. And check this out: Zuggondi, protect!"
In an instant, Porter was wrapped in tentacles, twining around his arms until it formed a nightmarish suit of armor that doubled his size. With one wriggling hand, he lifted the hardwood coffee table over his head.
"Yes, yes, that's very impressive," Mason started. "This still doesn't—"
"Hang on, one more trick," came his boyfriend's voice, shockingly clear despite the mass of black flesh coating him. He carefully positioned the coffee table directly above his head – or at least, where his head would be. He took a deep breath, and then let go.
Panic had Mason halfway across the room to catch the table before he realized what had happened. Sprouting from Porter's approximate shoulders were two tentacles, emerging from the armor to catch the heavy furniture like it was merely a volleyball. "See?" Porter said, his smile audible even if Mason couldn't see it. "Totally safe! Zuggondi can also block physical and magical projectiles, protecting me wherever I go with a simple command!"
Mason let his breath out slowly, and finished closing the distance to his boyfriend-cum-horror at a deliberate walk. His face was pensive as he politely held his hands out for the table, flexing only slightly when it was deposited into his care. After replacing it in the middle of the living room, he took a seat on it and turned to consider the love of his life.
"Okay, honey," he finally said. "I see what Zuggondi does, and it's impressive. But still: why did you form a pact in exchange for this familiar? You've been talking about wanting to take out stronger corruption, and— I'm strong! I protect you! Why did you feel the need to seal a pact with whoever gave you this instead of the many other Powers you told me you were considering?"
Porter slowly exited Zuggondi, zir tentacles pulling away and curling back into an amorphous ball as he stepped out and knelt before his beloved. "Babe, it's... I was worried about you," he said softly, reaching out to cup Mason's cheek. "You've always been thinking about me with your pacts, picking things that let you protect me. I wanted to let you cut loose a little, pick something for your own sake for once." He sighed, and sat back on his heels. "Maybe I should have talked this over a bit with you first, but— I love you so much, you know that? I love you. I love you because you're you. I don't want you to shrink yourself into my protector because you're worried for my safety. So, I formed a pact with the Depths so I could protect myself, and let you be more than just my knight in shining armor." His hand dropped to his thigh with a soft slap. "I didn't think this was how you'd respond."
Mason took a slow breath, then another. Finally, he leaned forward to place a soft kiss on Porter's lips. "Okay," he breathed, slowly finding his voice. "Okay. I didn't... I didn't realize you were so worried about me, and how much I worry about you. I just... I love you too, and I want to keep you safe so badly. But if you think I'm worrying too much, I'll trust you, and I'll trust Zuggondi to protect you in my stead."
"Yes!" Porter cheered, planting a wet smooch on Mason's cheek. "You hear that, Zuggondi? We got the okay!" The reply that emitted from the slobbery familiar grated on Mason's ears, but his boyfriend only giggled. "Oh, and babe? Just saying, while Zuggondi's wrapped around me like that, ze's tapped into my sensorial planiform, so I get to feel everything ze feels if you wanted to... experiment."
Mason flushed at the implications, but a question had been nagging at him. "Uh, maybe later, but first, I have to ask. Why Zuggondi?" The wicked smile that split across Porter's face gave him all the answer he needed. "Oh no."
"You wanna know why I called zir Zuggondi?"
"—no no no—"
"It's short for—"