lupi

cow of tailed snake (gay)

avatar by @citriccenobite

you can say "chimoora" instead of "cow of tailed snake" if you want. its a good pun.​


i ramble about aerospace sometimes
I take rocket photos and you can see them @aWildLupi


I have a terminal case of bovine pungiform encephalopathy, the bovine puns are cowmpulsory


they/them/moo where "moo" stands in for "you" or where it's funny, like "how are moo today, Lupi?" or "dancing with mooself"



Bovigender (click flag for more info!)
bovigender pride flag, by @arina-artemis (click for more info)



huldratigress
@huldratigress

Have you ever been to Jimmy Johns or Jersey Mike's or whatever and been like "why can't I do this at home they're not even heating up the sandwich but somehow it's $12" but whenever you do it at home it's never as good?? And you're just like what the fuck are they doing??? Well here's what they're doing:

  • Wrap the sandwich in something like parchment paper. They don't just do this at the store to make the sandwich portable. Wrapping it up helps mush all the ingredients together. Whenever I get something at Jersey Mike's they wrap it up like they're trying to smother an infant. You gotta do that. Suffocate that sandwich. It's the sandwich equivalent of sauteing the onions and garlic in a pan before you add the other ingredients.

  • You need liquefied fat. This is where everyone goes wrong. There's a reason why Jimmy John's covers everything in Mayonnaise and Jersey Mike's has "the juice" that's just tons of olive oil. Fat carries flavors and brings them together. Add mayo, vinaigrette, melted cheese, pesto, "moist" meats like poached/roasted chicken, or just fancy olive oil. You need fat.

  • Don't be afraid to add salt. Depending on what meats or other random shit you're putting on there, you might not actually have enough salt. Salt brings out flavor. Or just sprinkle some MSG on there. MSG stands for Makes Shit Good, don't be afraid of it.

  • Pay attention to moisture. Onions, tomato, lettuce, mustard, pickles etc, all add moisture. All can easily be prepped ahead of time. Huge chunks of deli meat without moisture are gross.

  • Keep moist ingredients away from the bread, if possible. Lotta sandwich places put tomato or pickles between the meat. They also have toppings sitting in a prep station tray all day, which helps dry them out a bit. Tomato-soaked bread is gross.

  • Don't be afraid to dab some spices on there. There's a reason why Subway, Jersey Mikes and others have tons of "seasoned" breads, with rosemary or basil or whatever. Deli meats are pretty one-dimensional, sprinkle some oregano, basil, or Cajun seasoning on there.

  • Use sandwich rolls. This is probably a bit of personal preference, but the average sandwich roll is a little bit thicker than sliced bread, helps keep the carb-meat ratio where you want it.


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in reply to @huldratigress's post:

excellent advice. i'd also stress the importance of some acidity, which usually something like tomatoes does well, but something I really like to do is squeeze some lemon juice (among other seasonings) to the mayo to give it that extra kick that adds a lot imo

As someone who used to work at one of these places, yea I'm seconding all of that.

Oh, if you want a good italian-inspired sauce for it? Olive oil, red vinegar, salt. That's literally all it is. I'm not gonna leak the portions but honestly I dont have to, just do it to your taste. :3 (This is a veritable lifesaver if you have as much of a vendetta against mayo as I do btw :p )

And deffo seconding the rolls, or at least something thick-sliced. Regular-ass grocery store loaf breads are honestly kinda pathetic (not a dig against people who like them, you do you). You can generally get at least a baguette for a comparable price.