Mech Pilot who starts making the robotic animal they were assigned to pilot the ill-fated central symbol to their teenage identity.
what the hell that is supposed to be?", I asked to the room of mechanics and corporate officials surveying my newly designed-by-committee mecha suit.
"It's an old earth aquatic marsupial sir, known for their tool-like rock usage and care for their community members," the woman at my elbow meekly replied.
"Not exactly fear-inspiring though, is it?" It reminded me more of a toy for children, despite the hard lines and angular features of the iconography meant to portray stoicism in battle.
"We thought it would help with our younger polling numbers. You're step one of that plan, the mech is part of step two," replied a man in a suit, commanding the room and taking over the rapidly non-conversational conversation. I was ruining the reveal event, but they we're ruining my 16th birthday. If I was supposed to take the insult, so could they.
"I don't recognize the weapon it's holding either," I turned my head as I stared up, guiding the press in skepticism. "It looks more like a goblet or rock, or a terrible way to hold a shield."
"It's a cup of our signature dark coffee blend which will be available in your cockpit at all times."
"Ok, not sure about the value of that in combat situations, or the naked marketing attempt, but you're telling me my mecha is going to be some kind of..."
"Caffeinated otter, yes."
The following five years of the Inter-Corpo War was marked with a renewed effort from the losing Cocoa Heavy Industries Alliance, led by then-teenaged pilot [REDACTED] of the Caffeinted Otter.
Survivors of the conflict scenes featuring the mecha spoke of the otter destruction left in their wake, along with dozens of written logs of excellent quality.
oh my god
